Saturday, March 28, 2009

Baby did a bad, bad thing...

You know the Chris Isaac song?

I've done something very stupid. While I won't go into details, it was one of those unexplainable moments..I don't know what got into me.
Betrayed a trust, and I am usually a good secret keeper. And why? I can only blame a moment of insecurity... I don't know, I've asked myself this over and over! But I'd better figure it out, because I certainly want no repeats! If we don't learn from our mistakes, then what's the point of living ?
Then today, I received this forwarded affirmation: "May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
Thanks, I needed that. I will trust that I WILL learn from this mistake and not repeat it and that somehow, dumb-ass that I am, I can be content with myself.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

If I couldn't fail...

With imminent changes swirling around our heads at work, I have been thinking of that Life- Coach type question: "If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do?"

The sad thing is that I would do exactly what I am doing...I LOVE it.

I like working with small groups, I like teaching the rudiments of reading, I even like my decrepit, old school. I like the diversity of the student population and my co-workers. I like the mediocre salad bar at lunch. I enjoy making games and other creative things to accompany the things I teach. I like to reading aloud. I like the Professional Development classes I am required to take. I enjoy working at and entering data on the computer and complaining about the numbers of kids moving in and out every week. I like tutoring one on one. I love to see kids improve and the "a-ha!" moment. I truly enjoy the books we read, Three Silly Monkeys rocks!

I like the glow of my little desk lamp in the dark morning before school starts. I like a little hand in mine as I guide a Kindergartner back to class.

I love it.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Goin down ta Hurrkin

We went down to Hurkunn, correct Utah pronunciation of Hurricane, Utah. Her-i-cane is the correct pronunciation of the windy, rainy weather phenomenon in Utah and the rest of the world. But my parents live in Hurkunn.
My mom is doing much better, much stronger although she still gets tired easily. I'm sure the blood thinners, chemo, and "blood-letting" are the causes. She suffers from a Myeloproliferative disorder, and has really been through a lot with it, so it was very good to see her up and about!
They had a neighborhood yard sale on Saturday, so as the neighbors came to check out the wares, I got to meet many and they all think the world of my Mom and Dad. It was so sweet to hear all the concern and see so many hugs! Living 3 hours away, it was comforting to me to see, first-hand, the love of so many for my folks. But how could they not love them? Mom and Dad are the salt of the earth, generous, honest, humble, funny, hardworking..I love them!
Anyway, back to the yard sale. Mom and dad have sooo much they could have sold. They even admitted that they had other things out, but after looking at them for a while, changed their minds. They just couldn't give some of it up, "Too many memories".
I can sympathize with them. I have some "good stuff"(that Don hates) out in the shed. Everytime he mentions "we need to have a yard sale" I resist, too many memories. Those old doors, windows and furniture were hard won. Trawling the streets in the early morning hours, racing another scavenger to get there first, hard labor loading it into the back of the Suburban, then cleaning, painting and refurbishing. Shan also scavenged, we worked together. The pic above is just a small corner of the sale.
The big pay-off, in more ways than one, was the actual Two Shabby Chicks sale. All the neighbors, strangers and their relatives and friends came! It was an anticipated occasion. I loved it! People still ask if we are ever going to do it again and the answer is "no". It was a time of my life I loved, but things have changed so much in the 9 years that have ensued, (mainly going to work full time), that I can never go back.
Much like my dad can't give up the trucking relics that, upon his retirement, were relegated to his garage, I can't give up my treasures in the shed. Their sale would be too final. They are memories I can go out and look at now and then. When I decide I can move on, you will be the first invited to the big sale!

Plus, you know that as soon as you give away the cool old antique door, you find a purpose for it!

Friday, March 13, 2009

How Was Your Day?

*"You wanna know why we went to Mexico?...we had to get my dad outa jail" 6 yr.old reading student
*"There will be changes, we won't know exactly what they'll be 'til mid April. But the reality is, there will be changes, the district split combined with the economy...the funding just won't be there..." My supervisor...great
* "So I sold an ad to a dentist today. He splits his time between the O.C. and here." I ask, "is he a young guy? He must be doing well if he can afford to be jetting back and forth." Ty asks, "Is he single?" We crack up. Ty gets mad.
* I had "Chicken Drummies" for school lunch. They look like little fried chicken legs. They taste like various chicken cast-off parts whipped to a froth with chicken protein product and carefully formed into cute little chicken legs. Really, they have the texture of chicken styrofoam. But with a good , heavy coating of ranch dressing they are still pretty much like chicken styrofoam.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Reel fun

Had the day off, always such a treat.
I wanted to go to a movie but didnt see anything that "grabbed me". I love to go to the movies on a week day, during the day. The dark, mostly empty theater feels somehow illicite, at 11:30 in the morning and the lack of moviegoers makes for a comfortable ride. I always see movies I know Don wouldnt enjoy, chick flicks or liberal elitist fare. So , as I sit there I can say to myself, I'm so glad Don isn't here to spoil this with an "oh brother" or "what a bunch of liberal crap". I often go with Shan or a girlfriend. Well, I have to take that back. I don't OFTEN go. Maybe 3 times a year! Last year saw Slumdog( a movie Don had NO interest in until all the Oscar hub-bub) as soon as it came out in the Indie theater with Shan and cried and cried! Also saw The Visitor with Gail, think I cried and cried then , too. Next I want to see the new French classroom movie, The Class/Entre les Murs, featuring the real teacher and many real students. It's sub-titled and as a teacher it grabs me...and I'll probably cry.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Like a virgin....

blogged for the very first time! I actually have butterflies! I have not been so excited and nervous about something for a while! Excited, yes. Nervous, yes. But excited and nervous, in a good way, not in a long time! Okay, I realize that if I continue to blog, I have to cut way back on the exclamation marks!! and I have to decide which font is really me! eeee! haha!
I'm sure at some point this will become less exciting, maybe even drudgery, " ugh, I've got to write something for the ----blog AGAIN.
But for now, it's fun and great and exciting. (like so many things that start out fun and great and all...)
Why acannthus?

1. I find, as I age, I am more prickly.

2. My name is part of the word, always cool when creating a blog name.

3. I like the artsy aspect of the acanthus leaf; Classic Greek columns, design motifs..

4. and, I like the botanical aspect of a green living thing.

So, here's to many blogposts!