Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Time for School

The other day I was bemoaning the fact that I had to start back to school August 16th. I realize I am lucky to even get "the summer" off, but that doesn't make it any easier to go back once those 9 weeks are over, especially if you spent 6 of them getting radiation. Waa, waa, waa. Yes, I DO want some whine with my cheese!

All that aside, it is time for school. There is no denying it. Summer is over.
I have noticed the angle of the shadows have changed, the quality of light is different then high Summer. It's dark earlier and the sun is rising later, nights are cooler.
So, complain all I want, the season speaks for itself. Fall equals school.

Summer is the time I build relationships, visiting people I don't get to see very often and going to lunch with friends and relatives.
It is about the only time I shop for fun.
It is the time I usually pursuit some creative activity and enjoy cultural events.
Summer is the time I am outside.

I need to find a way to fit these activities in during the working portion of the year, dinner instead of lunch, indoor concerts in the place of outdoors, quick weekend trips. Shop on my way home from school and don't wait til Saturday to clean and grocery shop. Yeah! that's it! I'll let you know how it goes.

In the meantime, I am at school. Next week will bring the students and after a week it will feel like I was never gone. I love my job!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Summer of the Gamma Rays is Officially Done, Finito, Complete!

This morning I took my last daily 9 mile ride up State Street to the IMC Cancer Center for my last radiation treatment. For 6 weeks I made the trip, enjoying our beautiful, sometimes rainy finally hot, Utah Summer mornings. The usual soundtrack accompanying this roadtrip was some fine KRCL tunes or the companionship of Kerry, Bill and Gina.
In the mornings I felt energetic, glad to be up and busy at 8:00 a.m. Then as the day progressed, like a wind-up monkey beating his drum ever slower, I'd tire and slow down. That is, until the last 2 weeks. By then I wasn't quite as chipper in the morning and by the afternoon, I was in a tired fog. The skin under my breast and my armpit were burnt, purple, crack-y, yeah, it hurt. My wardrobe was adjusted to allow for maximum comfort and on the occasions when I felt like I had to wear a good bra to be presentable, I'm sure the people around me were wondering what I was doing fidgeting so much with my armpit. I didn't care.
My usual Radiology team: Carolann, Kimberley and Mark (here's where the tears start) were so sweet to me, so kind, friendly and professional. When you see people every day for 6 weeks, topless, a bond grows. I know they must see over 30 patients a day, but they still made me feel like I was important, not just another broken boob on a table. I know that, having rang the "finished bell", I will soon be replaced with another unfortunate soul with cancer. Odds are, from studying the demographics of my waiting roommates; a middle aged woman  much like me, or a 65+ man, will take my seat awaiting their turn to be cured by otherwise deadly radiation.

What can I take from this experience?

It is always best to put your happy face forward and act better than you feel, until a true friend comes along and knowingly let's you cry on their shoulder.
Everyone is fighting a hard battle, so be nice.
I really do eat when I'm tired and should be resting. Rest instead and don't let yourself feel useless.
and finally...
When you are traveling along life's highway, even to an unpleasant destination, enjoy the beauty along the way. Utah mornings are mighty pretty!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

My life doesn't look like this...

this picture is not from blog mentioned in post, only used as an example of photography type

The following quote is for reals.  Not my "reals", but someone else's "reals". Someone from Hackensack.

"These next two weeks are crazy! I'm scrambling to get all my work finished before we leave for a family beach vacation in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, then off to France and Switzerland (sans Henry!) at the end of August. Plus, a couple of my girlfriends from NY and I are renting a little beach house just north of San Francisco for three nights this coming week and I'm giddy with excitement for a girls getaway. Hoping a little R&R will rejuvenate me for the next couple weeks of work."

I happened upon this entry from some random blog, you know the kind, beautifully shot, overexposed photos of pretty people living fabulously carefree, stylish, happy lives. Oh, I guess I shouldn't say carefree, there are  times (documented in one of the above mentioned photos) when "Henry" eats all of the Williams Sonoma Parisian Macaroons that grandmommy sent or he gets a sunburn while at grandmommy's charming cottage on Balboa Island.

I do hope though, that she is "rejuvenated for the next couple weeks of work". I have no idea what her "work" entails and I have no plans to go back and find out.

Just interesting to get a glimpse of how others live...and I am in a pissy mood.

That being said, I have to wonder why this bothers me. Am I jealous? My life is pretty darn good, even though I'm not jetting off to France or having a girl's weekend at a beach house..hell, I've never even had a girl's weekend. Unless you count the time me and Bridgette went down to my folks in Hurricane. hahahaha
Coolio said in his song Gangster's Paradise,  "too much television watchin' got me chasin' dreams".
Is that what happens when we look at these blogs? Life is good, we're happy, but if we look too long, pretty soon we're dissatisfied,  jealous, cynical...chasin' dreams?

I don't know. For now I'll chalk it up to being in a pissy mood. And maybe I need to take more pictures in over-expose mode.