Tuesday, February 23, 2010

“I hate the word housewife; I don't like the word home-maker either. I want to be called Domestic Goddess.”

I'm going to get something off my chest and I will probably not be too popular with some of you once I am finished.
My church really pushes for mothers to be at home, no higher calling than mother, heart of the home, etc...I think that is a worthy endeavor, being at home. I was home for 17 years raising 4 children.
I was a homemaker. I mean, I made a home, working every day at that task. I gardened and canned. I got up with my children, fixed them breakfast, made lunches, made sure they were at school on time, fixed them a snack when they got home. I cooked delicious, nutritious and balanced meals. I made bread and baked cookies. I washed and ironed my husbands shirts. I kept a clean and tidy house. I sewed and painted and built. I took a real sense of pride in MY JOB. This was my JOB. My husband went to his job and this was MY job.
Lately, I am bewildered by the posts I am reading in blogs and on Facebook, posts written by stay at home moms and not just one or two. Posts detailing their days, the hours spent on facebook, the lunch dates, the naps, the mess, the dinners out, the showers at 3:00pm,the dozing for a couple of hours on the couch while the kiddos watch Dora, blah, blah , blah. "Can't wait til hubby comes home from work and asks me what I've done all day! hehe".
Everyone chimes in, echoing the same habits, unashamed.
Have you no pride? Don't you feel the least bit responsible to do your most at home while your husband is out working, at a job he may not love, to provide for you and your family?
Or is it you are depressed? I don't get it!
I guess I am just old school, but get out of bed before your kids and shower and get dressed.
Turn off the TV, get away from the computer for a while and do something constructive.
Have some pride in being a homemaker.


just call me jo said...

I'm with you. I tried to explain to you about my daughter who is a SAHM, but I started going crazy. She's not exactly like the ladies you mentioned but she definitely has a problem with time management and organization. She'd rather go hunting big game than clean her house. ???

I taught school all her time at home. I still kept an immaculate house; prepared healthy, home-cooked meals; read her books; took her to activities--I was a great mom, damn it!

She, however, always throws up to me how I worked the whole time she was little and SHE stays home with her children.

Oh, please, sweetie, give me a break. If I couldn't do a better job of being a SAHM (gag/puke), then I'd go out and start earning some coin so I could actually contribute something to the family in some way.

Staying home does not necessarily make one a good mom. Working outside of the home doesn't guarantee you'll be a neglectful mom. It's all how you handle your time. (Oh, dear, I am such a nag some times.)

Brandon and Michelle Day said...

You are going to tick people off. I am taking a rare break and coming across this just spoke to me. I get so frustrated by these same moms.....while my religion doesn't push stay at home moms, they push being a good mother. Taking care of your family, and most importantly providing the proper hometraining (Proverbs 22:6). As a working mom, I get so mad when I hear these things out of stay at home moms mouths. I think, "what a waste" I would LOVE to be home with my child and do fun activities with her. If I could afford to work 3 days a week, I would. (Not sure if I could stay at home ALL the time) Nevertheless, I make sure my family has the things they need if I was at home. I even plan on doing square foot gardening this Spring. Do I get tired? Yes. Stressed? Yes. But I pride myself in having cooked meals, clean clothes, and a pretty kept house. Because I work, I know that I cannot do too much. I also am on no drugs......I saw first hand how much time a stay at home mom spent on the dang facebook, and when I saw her daughter after a long day, she was hungry for attention- so much so that my hour with my daughter was often interrupted. Life's focus needs to re-shift. I envy those ladies that can stay home. They have the time to make a full meal and have a clean house. I sometimes am hard on myself, but I know I am working for my family as well. I can only do so much. But I take being a wife and mom serious. So much so that I only devote so much time to blogging and facebooking. (You can check the number of entries last year compared to this year. I used to update that thing once a week....) I love you Cathy, and I think you are so right! I have a few stay at home moms in my neighborhood that are amazing, so don't loose hope, there are some still out there!

lifeinredshoes said...


design gal said...

AMEN! I agree. 'nuff said!

Clair said...

I love this post! You're Wonder Woman!

Mom’s do need to take the responsibility as a mom more seriously. Being a wife and a mother is my first priority. This is more important than a college degree, a job, developing talents, or anything else! What job in life could possibly be more important than molding the character of another human being? I know I’m not a perfect mom, but I’m trying. And at the end of the day, I hope with all my heart, that my children know that their mom loves them more than anything. That they know that they are my first priority.

Breezy said...

While I dont share your religious convictions I agree with your feelings. When my son was little I was home with him. I played games, read to him, took him to the park, made home cooked dinners, and kept a clean house. My husband worked nights.. so it was I was single Mom.. but that time gave us a special bond. To this day we are very close and I treasure that relationship! Being a Mom was my job.. first and foremost.

Hawleywood said...

Hi! Yes, the state of teaching is in a HORRIBLE state!! I'm still hopeful that I'll get a job sometime soon!

Mert said...

Cathy, I thought I recognized you from your "photos" above. Turned out real nice. Mert

Barry Cann said...

Mom, first off, you did a STAND-OUT job of raising us kids. As a kid I never appreciated the fact that the house was always clean (even when "messy") that you always cooked great meals for us, decorated nicely, and helped us with homework and such. But as an adult I look back and say "DAMN! I was lucky!" So thank you.

You have to realize, though, that you raised children in an age where personal computers, the internet, cell phones, twitter, facebook, and other time sucking habits didn't exist yet. With so much time-sucking fun at hand, the temptation to slack is much heavier today than it was 20 years ago.

Regardless, I remember many moms of friends who were just as lazy and slothful as many you rail against now. I'm sure you can remember them by name. I guess in any age there will be those moms who waste their days away and those who excel at motherhood and homemakesmanship - champions of the domestic - like you.

Natalie said...

Amen, amen and amen! Read your post and had to throw in my hallelujah!

Sometimes I check in on your blog, as I really enjoy your writing. Hope you don't mind. (I'm a friend of Barry's, by the way).