acannthus

Overheard in...

2012-01-14T20:16:00.009-07:00

Standing in line at Sizzlers, a 50-ish couple and a man in his late 20's.

1st person- "I'm going to get the Senior Special."
2nd and 3rd persons nod without judgement.
1st Person to 2nd person - "You should get the Senior Special, too."
Person #2 mildly grimaces and shakes her head.
Person #1- "The Senior Special comes with a free drink!"
2nd Person- "oh, I usually just get water anyway."
1st Person- "Yeah, but if you get the Senior Special, you can ask for water and then you can give your drink to 3rd person!" This said with a slight nod as he intently looks at 2nd person.
2nd Person aggravated now- "I'm not getting the Senior Special!
I... am... not...a Senior!....and I don't look like a Senior!"
1st Person has no reply, but you can tell he's miffed.

The waitress asks them, as they stand in line, for their order.

1st Person- holding his hand half-way over his mouth as he "scratches" his nose, quickly and furtively, without making eye contact, says in a low voice - "I'll have the Senior Special."

omg!! It reminded me of something you'd see George Costanza do on Seinfeld! hehehe

By the way, drinks were not included, but were $1.99.

All Lanes Open!

2012-01-01T11:22:00.002-07:00

I have always felt that the real "New Year" starts with each new school year but, that aside, here we are in 2012! Although I feel like my own granny when I say it, the times passes faster every year! 2011 went by in a flash!

This year, I'd like to see some changes. I want to look at the coming year with this attitude.

ALL LANES OPEN

2011 held many joys, comforts, trials and conundrums, comings and goings, beginnings and endings.
I'm sure 2012 will be much the same. Life goes on, same ol' same ol', unless we want to do something different to make it change. The hard part is doing something different or I guess, doing the same things differently. I'm like most people, in that, I do the same things, the same way, over and over and am disappointed when I don't see different results.

But I can change anything I want, using all lanes to "get there", the scenic way, the fast lane, the carpool lane, maybe using some lanes I've never taken before and maybe returning to others that I had almost forgotten.

The scenic routes, the ways that make me happy, feeling like "myself", I hope to take more often, probably in the carpool lane, sharing good times with friends and loved ones.

Most of the time, I'm going to try and avoid rush hour, although now and then, making it through rush hour gets your blood flowing!

I know I don't want to continue on the same rutted road, trying and often failing to avoid the same old potholes, over and over, ending up in exactly the same uncomfortable, but familiar place.
Maya Angelou said: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude". Sometimes, that is all you are able to change and it is enough, but it definitely takes a lane change.

ALL LANES OPEN

This year, I'll work on making changes that will be revelatory, healthy and comforting.

ALL LANES OPEN

Robert Downey Jr, Chest hair and CGI

2011-12-27T08:25:00.001-07:00

Since this is movie going season for many, let me tell you about the new Sherlock Holmes movie.

I think Robert D. is a cute guy. I like his dark looks, his big, brown eyes . Remember back in the 80's when he was in the "brat pack", that group of young actors in all the John Hughes-type movies? Then he got into drugs, disappeared for a long time, and suddenly seemingly out of nowhere, came back as an action hero, (Robert Downey...an action hero?) in Iron Man and was again a wildly popular, a big star...how does that happen? I sometimes wonder if stars like him, with miraculous come-backs, sell their souls to the devil. Anyway...

Robert Downey Jr, a heavily bearded guy with thick, dark eyebrows, appears shirtless in his new movie, Sherlock Holmes Game of Shadows, and has nary ONE hair on his chest! I found it very disconcerting and thought he was "creepily" smooth, kind of "Edward, white, sparkly, smooth-skinned". Don't be fooled be the images on google, those "lightly-haired chest shots" were from the last movie, Sherlock Holmes. No, in the latest S.H. he is hairless.

And the movie was boring I probably dozed through half of it, only waking when the next rattling, explosion rang through the theater.

So many movies now, with all their cgi (computer generated imaging) abilities rely, I think, too much on the shock and awe of the close-up shot of a bullet flying slo-mo through 7 different trees in a snowy forest, filled with realistic unicorns racing toward a realistic, yet fantastically other-wordly castle sat high on a craggy peak with, again, realistic yet fantastical see-through dragons gliding overhead as far off off planets rotate in a starry sky. Whew! And the death defying feats, hanging from a speeding train by one pinky as it speeds around a hairpin curve next to a ravine filled with ravenous crocodiles...come on! While I realize you have to suspend belief, those scenes can't carry a whole movie. At least not to hold my interest. Acton films just do not hold my interest for long.

But if you like action films, CGI, Robert Downey Jr, or you just need a nap, go see it!

I'm done!

2011-12-21T23:23:00.001-07:00

It was a sunny day today!! After two weeks of smoggy, freezing, overcast skies it was a beautiful sight!

Shopping done!
Wrapping done!
Stocking stuffers bought!

Neighbor gifts, Cranberry/blue cheese- cheese balls, prepared to be delivered!
I've never, in many years, been so ahead of the Christmas game!

Groceries bought!
This humble little trio, a mom on piano and her sweet little children on their violin and cello, provided Christmas music to shop by. I was teary eyed as I pushed my cart through the aisles as their innocent, slightly squeeky but beautifully honest notes wafted down the aisles. It was just so sweet and true! It touched my heart with a grateful spirit.

All I need are some Bingo gifts and a unisex "big" gift. And tomatoes. And peppermint ice-cream. And something to take around to the young, single women from church that I visit. And flowers from Costco... Gee, I guess I spoke too soon.

Oh well, I still feel pret-ty, prett-y good about my preparations! That's what Larry David always says "Pret-ty, pret-ty good" Anybody out there watch Curb Your Enthusiasm? Funny show, but get the edited version, otherwise you'll hear a lot of the "bomb". On another T.V. note, I watched Downton Abbey for the first time! Loved it! I must dvr the new season starting in January!

Excuses, Excuses....

2011-12-15T22:16:00.001-07:00

I know I haven't posted in a long time.

I haven't died.
I haven't lost my fingers in a horrible industrial accident.
I haven't run off to join the circus. (although I've been tempted)
I haven't been placed into the Witness Protection Program.
I haven't started working on a PHD. (I'd have to get a Masters first)

So, what's my excuse?

I'm just kind of losing interest, that, and I'm lazy.
I'm not a blogger that likes to check in often, just kind of sharing my day to day antics. NOT that there's anything wrong with that! (I sound like Seinfeld!) Really, I love reading the blogs of those gals who do share their day-to-day, it's just not me. I usually have to have some topic that I need to blab about. And often, when I think of the effort it's going to take to organize my thoughts and TYPE it up, I just think, "ugh, do I really want to share it that bad?"

I'm a horrible typist. I can't sit down and ra ta tat some entertaining or thoughtful piece in a quarter of an hour! I know that if I practiced, practiced, practiced I'd would become faster, but I don't wanna! I practiced, practiced, practiced when I was thinking of a job change last Spring and I got up to a swift 37 wpm. I know, I know, stop laughing!

So, I'm really thinking of
a. giving it up
b. trying to write a small day-to-day antic every week...I guess that would actually be a week-to-week antic.
c. practicing typing WHILE writing the blog more often.
d. hiring a personal scribe.

We'll see. In the meantime, check back from time to time. Just don't worry if I disappear now and then like an old tom cat.

.

Mother and Child

2011-11-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

Amanda, of Baseball and Cocoapuffs, posted this pic, along with the story of her son's birth.

I have to tell you how much I appreciate this picture!

I am so tired of "fashion photo-shoot" birth pictures. I've noticed recently that many brand-new moms present a picture of dewy freshness immediately after giving birth, lying artfully arranged in a peignoir on the hospital bed, with perfectly styled hair and make-up, looking dewy fresh.
Whatever happened to a beautiful, wrung-out, happy, emotional, newly delivered mom?

Now let me also say, that if your thing is to look like a newly delivered Angelina Jolie on the cover of People Magazine, more power to you. It's just not my taste.

Maybe, because I always looked like a bloated refugee from a horrible natural disaster, holding a baby close while dressed in the standard hospital gown that came in light blue boxer underwear pattern or gray boxer underwear pattern, I am jealous.
That may be, but there is something so emotionally honest in the beautifully haggard new mom pics that touches my heart and sets my tears to start, that I don't find in the staged pictures.

So kudos to you Amanda, and your lovely, honest "Madonna and Child"!

Unfaithful

2011-11-11T22:54:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry blog.
I have been unfaithful.
I have neglected you because I have found something that doesn't require as much thought to express myself.
Facebook.
Every day when I get home from school I check out the latest entries and I let the comments flow.
Oh believe me, I always have something to say!
In 20 words or less I can given my opinion, be a smart-ass or an inspiration, crack people up or at least cause a chuckle and in doing so I don't even have to think of a title!
No one has to "leave a comment", something that proves difficult for some readers, simply hit LIKE and I know "you love me, you really love me".
It's so easy and shallow and now that school is back in session and I am working with 40 kids per day, I desire to play in the shallow end of the writing pool. I'm tired and brain dead when I finally have a minute to write.

So forgive me my infrequent posts, my 6 faithful readers... and watch for comments and likes on your F-book posts.

Reading Between the Lines

2011-10-25T12:29:00.000-06:00

The following is an email exchange between my daughter and me.
"Are you at court today? How are you? I am in such a bad mood, dad started it off this morning talking abt. "yeah, just think, only so many days of daylight savings left. I cant wait!" I have told him a hundred times, I hate when daylight savings ends. I dont care if it's light in the MORNING! I'd rather have it light at night! So I finally asked him if he really didn't know how I felt abt.it and if he did, how come he had to keep rubbing my nose in it when I've TOLD him a million time I dont WANT TO HEAR it! It just bugged me! I wouldnt keep reminding him about something that was going to happen that he didn't want to happen. Im sure he just thought, "wow SHE"S in a bad mood" but I wasn't til he started in. AND he didnt leave any light on for me downstairs, he comes up after his breakfast and shuts everything off. THAT bugs me, it's pitch dark, leave a light on for me. arghhhhhhh! guess i am in a bad mood hahaha ugh! well, hope you are having a good day and are in a good mood! : ) love you, mom

I was at court this morning. It was okay- I wasn’t there that long. There’s a door man/bailiff that thinks he’s the shiznit (creepy middle age guy) and he is always discriminating against women. “Take off your shoes” “Put that in the bin” etc etc when he doesn’t make the MEN take off their shoes. He’s an ass. Kirk has complained to the court about him before b/c of the way he acts and he changed for a little bit, but he’s getting back into old habits.

I’ve been moody the past couple of days. I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s hard! I also hate…no loathe, when daylight savings ends. Seriously, I get really depressed. I might go tanning once a week, as I heard that helps. But I don’t want to get burnt…hmm…it just sucks. That is rude of dad- I HATE when people don’t leave a light on. Dad just doesn’t think or consider other peoples thoughts/feelings. He just seriously doesn’t get it. I sorry. Let’s do fun things this winter! I hope your day gets better! We’re ordering lunch today from Village Baker b/c of a birthday. I got egg salad (no bread) and a spinach salad. Sounded good!

Talk to you soon- Love you!!! shan

So many things said here.

We are both dieting, low carb. Mmmm egg salad and spinach salad! Yum! My choices today were "grilled cheese" (only in the loosest sense of what a good grilled cheese sandwich is) mini-corndogs, frozen burrito. We no longer have a daily salad bar for teachers, only on Wed. and Fri. So it was an apple for me. My weight has steadily been climbing since school started and I've got to get back on the stick...celery stick!

We both are "seasonally affected". While I don't get really depressed, too badly, it is just so sad for me to see the days shorten. Then I remember, you just have to make it til Dec. 21st and the days lengthen once more!

I am trying to stay positive too. She actually ovulated this month and you cant help but get your hopes up.

He really doesn't get it.

I feel better already : )

Wonderful Saturday

2011-10-08T19:56:00.000-06:00

Wonderful Saturday, what made thee such a wonderful Saturday?

Was it because there was some sunshine peeking through the clouds, on a beautiful vista of snow capped mountains across the valley? Even with the temperature being 50 degrees, very un-like what we usually think early October should be, it was still a beautiful morning.

Was it the usual NPR Saturday line-up, which never fails to make me think and laugh? It always accompanies me on my journeys to the many exciting destinations of a Saturday morning, like the grocery store. It makes me sad to turn off the car in the middle of a great story and I admit spending way too much time sitting in the car, in the Smith's parking lot, listening til the end of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me". I had a thought today, that maybe I could use my phone to listen with earphones to a podcast. Would people think I was crazy as I burst into laughter, or made some other seemingly inappropriate expression, as I walked the aisles with my cart? Probably.

Was it because we had a fun lunch date with friends, friends who "get us", who laugh at and with us? After lunch, we went over to the mall to buy Don some "excercise shorts" in his words, otherwise known as basketball shorts and a dress shirt. But when he talked about them he kept getting mixed up saying he had to "buy some dress shorts", so that was the running joke...yes, I know, we are easily amused and I guess you had to be there, but those are the kinds of silly things that cause friends to laugh, with and at each other, things that no one else would find funny. Our friend needed new jeans and there was much talk about changing sizes, styles, rises, washes. We two wives decided he should get the kind endorsed by sexy Mike (Dirty Jobs) Rowe. Lee Jeans knows well, the demographic of their customers.

Don and Barry left early for the BYU game. As soon as the door closed, I turned off the television, leaving me alone in the house with only the sound of the clock ticking. This is something that I love, but seldom get to enjoy.

And so I sit in the quiet, with only a few well chosen lamps burning softly and type

It was a wonderful Saturday.

Going Back to Cali.

2011-09-24T21:55:00.005-06:00

I often see friends and acquaintances reporting on a girl's weekend or girl's mini-vacay on facebook and blogs. They're usually enjoying some bff or sister time in Vegas, a cabin or on a cruise and I've always lamented that I'd never been on one. Well, this weekend my mom and her three girls went down to So. Cal for my uncle's funeral. Yes, for me to get a mini-vacay someone has to die.

My mom's younger brother passed away last week after a short fight with cancer, so my daughter Shannon, sister Cheryl and I drove down to Hurricane Utah to pick up my mom. After spending the night, we left the next morning for L.A., a trip of about 6 hours. I grew up in L.A. and dropping down Cajon Pass feels like entering the home stretch, almost there, the portal to my past. For all its traffic, graffiti, and SMOG, I still wouldn't mind living there IF I had enough (a lot of) money and the rest of my family were down there, too. Of course, that's easy to say when your just there for a short visit, staying in a darling little cabin home in Mountain Pass, on the road to Lake Arrowhead.

While there we visited the largest cemetery in the U.S. and tromped around several aptly named areas: Garden of Serenity, Garden of Tranquility, Garden of Eternal Rest, you get the idea, whilst looking for the grave-sites of our dearly departed. The kind, if stupid, employees of the largest cemetery in the U.S. drew elaborate directions on maps which proved to be more confusing than anything else. We finally found and photographed the headstones, with Shannon acting as our bird dog, more often than not finding the grave site before anyone else, then standing on the spot and waving her arms silently, so as not to wake the dead. As we spread out and walked the rows in a kind of search party formation, the cemetery security force cruised by a couple of times probably thinking we were one of those bands of bronze thieves, but upon asking if we could be helped, they realized we were just hapless illiterates, unable to read a cemetery map.

We wanted to go to someplace for dinner that held memories for us and settled on the North Woods Inn. The faux log lodge with snow-covered roof was always a special occasion destination. Inside stained glass lamps provided a dim, rosy light, the waiters sang Happy Birthday Barbershop style and while waiting for your reservation you drank Shirley Temples and ate peanuts throwing the shells on the floor! It was pretty much the same and we were all a little giddy that we had stepped back into a time-machine, reliving so many happy occasions.

Next morning, I woke up early and Shan came with me to make the trip into town to buy a Chinese Donut. Chinese donuts, imh, are the best donuts in the world. If you want a good donut, at least in So.Cal., find a little strip mall Chinese food place that makes and sells donuts in the morning. I'm not kidding!

Shan and me in the back row, sister Cheryl to my right. Mom right in front of me and my sister Tracy to mom's left.

I'm not going to continue with the travel log, other than to say the funeral was a good funeral, the trip home long, the personality clashes few, but hey, we are four very strong personalities, mama didn't raise no shrinking violets. We have decided that this must happen again, this Baker Girl excursion! My mom just relished being with her girls and we all feel the same! We'll go back!

It's not your job to like me - it's mine.

2011-09-12T23:17:00.000-06:00

I am a pleaser.

Over the decades of my life, I have become less a pleaser than I used to be, but I am a pleaser, just the same.
One of the problems with being an evolving pleaser is that now, when I find the gumption to do things my way or say what I think, I am often overcome with remorse.
"Why did I say that outloud?"
"What was I thinking!"
"What will they think?"

I know lots of people that never waste a minute worrying in this way. They happily and unashamedly announce to the world their opinions, insights and arguments, never worrying about fallout.
Recently I was visited by a woman I didn't know well, someone who wanted to get to know me better. As we talked about "how I was doing" I recounted my experience with cancer, work, children and other things that woman talk about. Then she asked me a more personal question and before I answered, I thought to myself, "I'm going to be candid."

I got the feeling that she was a little disconcerted at my "telling it like it is." Maybe surprised at what I had to say, she was very sympathetic but I thought I caught some alarm in her eyes.
Of course, immediately after opening-up, I regretted it. Now she knew my "secret", would it stay a secret? Would there be fall-out. (I realize you're probably wondering what in the heck I'm talking about, but I have to be a little circumspect here. )

On the one hand it felt good to be...I guess you could say, honest. I know it didn't please her. It sent me into my usual speakers remorse and wondering what got into me. So, this evolving into a more honest yet tactful person is hard work, much easier just to say what people want to hear.
But I will keep at it, in a nice way.

Time for School

2011-08-17T15:22:00.008-06:00

The other day I was bemoaning the fact that I had to start back to school August 16th. I realize I am lucky to even get "the summer" off, but that doesn't make it any easier to go back once those 9 weeks are over, especially if you spent 6 of them getting radiation. Waa, waa, waa. Yes, I DO want some whine with my cheese!

All that aside, it is time for school. There is no denying it. Summer is over.
I have noticed the angle of the shadows have changed, the quality of light is different then high Summer. It's dark earlier and the sun is rising later, nights are cooler.
So, complain all I want, the season speaks for itself. Fall equals school.

Summer is the time I build relationships, visiting people I don't get to see very often and going to lunch with friends and relatives.
It is about the only time I shop for fun.
It is the time I usually pursuit some creative activity and enjoy cultural events.
Summer is the time I am outside.

I need to find a way to fit these activities in during the working portion of the year, dinner instead of lunch, indoor concerts in the place of outdoors, quick weekend trips. Shop on my way home from school and don't wait til Saturday to clean and grocery shop. Yeah! that's it! I'll let you know how it goes.

In the meantime, I am at school. Next week will bring the students and after a week it will feel like I was never gone. I love my job!

Summer of the Gamma Rays is Officially Done, Finito, Complete!

2011-08-09T12:53:00.001-06:00

This morning I took my last daily 9 mile ride up State Street to the IMC Cancer Center for my last radiation treatment. For 6 weeks I made the trip, enjoying our beautiful, sometimes rainy finally hot, Utah Summer mornings. The usual soundtrack accompanying this roadtrip was some fine KRCL tunes or the companionship of Kerry, Bill and Gina.
In the mornings I felt energetic, glad to be up and busy at 8:00 a.m. Then as the day progressed, like a wind-up monkey beating his drum ever slower, I'd tire and slow down. That is, until the last 2 weeks. By then I wasn't quite as chipper in the morning and by the afternoon, I was in a tired fog. The skin under my breast and my armpit were burnt, purple, crack-y, yeah, it hurt. My wardrobe was adjusted to allow for maximum comfort and on the occasions when I felt like I had to wear a good bra to be presentable, I'm sure the people around me were wondering what I was doing fidgeting so much with my armpit. I didn't care.
My usual Radiology team: Carolann, Kimberley and Mark (here's where the tears start) were so sweet to me, so kind, friendly and professional. When you see people every day for 6 weeks, topless, a bond grows. I know they must see over 30 patients a day, but they still made me feel like I was important, not just another broken boob on a table. I know that, having rang the "finished bell", I will soon be replaced with another unfortunate soul with cancer. Odds are, from studying the demographics of my waiting roommates; a middle aged woman much like me, or a 65+ man, will take my seat awaiting their turn to be cured by otherwise deadly radiation.

What can I take from this experience?

It is always best to put your happy face forward and act better than you feel, until a true friend comes along and knowingly let's you cry on their shoulder.
Everyone is fighting a hard battle, so be nice.
I really do eat when I'm tired and should be resting. Rest instead and don't let yourself feel useless.
and finally...
When you are traveling along life's highway, even to an unpleasant destination, enjoy the beauty along the way. Utah mornings are mighty pretty!

My life doesn't look like this...

2011-08-04T13:14:00.005-06:00

this picture is not from blog mentioned in post, only used as an example of photography type

The following quote is for reals. Not my "reals", but someone else's "reals". Someone from Hackensack.

"These next two weeks are crazy! I'm scrambling to get all my work finished before we leave for a family beach vacation in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, then off to France and Switzerland (sans Henry!) at the end of August. Plus, a couple of my girlfriends from NY and I are renting a little beach house just north of San Francisco for three nights this coming week and I'm giddy with excitement for a girls getaway. Hoping a little R&R will rejuvenate me for the next couple weeks of work."

I happened upon this entry from some random blog, you know the kind, beautifully shot, overexposed photos of pretty people living fabulously carefree, stylish, happy lives. Oh, I guess I shouldn't say carefree, there are times (documented in one of the above mentioned photos) when "Henry" eats all of the Williams Sonoma Parisian Macaroons that grandmommy sent or he gets a sunburn while at grandmommy's charming cottage on Balboa Island.

I do hope though, that she is "rejuvenated for the next couple weeks of work". I have no idea what her "work" entails and I have no plans to go back and find out.

Just interesting to get a glimpse of how others live...and I am in a pissy mood.

That being said, I have to wonder why this bothers me. Am I jealous? My life is pretty darn good, even though I'm not jetting off to France or having a girl's weekend at a beach house..hell, I've never even had a girl's weekend. Unless you count the time me and Bridgette went down to my folks in Hurricane. hahahaha
Coolio said in his song Gangster's Paradise, "too much television watchin' got me chasin' dreams".
Is that what happens when we look at these blogs? Life is good, we're happy, but if we look too long, pretty soon we're dissatisfied, jealous, cynical...chasin' dreams?

I don't know. For now I'll chalk it up to being in a pissy mood. And maybe I need to take more pictures in over-expose mode.

I heart New York

2011-07-28T14:55:00.002-06:00

I love being in the city, any city, so I loved the New York portion of our vacation. We actually stayed in New Jersey and, each morning, walked half a block passing the neighborhood Catholic church and little mid-century houses to catch the bus into the city. Most of our fellow passengers, who sat reading, working on their laptops or dozing, were on their way into work. After going through the Lincoln tunnel, we got off at the Port Authority and a hop,skip and jump away, through teaming masses of people, we were in Time Square!

Some of my favorite New York things in no particular order...

I loved this! Talk about a "melting pot"! Right under the Statue of Liberty! This made me so happy and all patriotic!

Birds with french fries! Yeah, they're happy.

Is this "New York" or what!?

Museum!!


Oh my gosh, the Architecture!

Oh my Gosh! The architecture with limousines!!


Crazy tourists I want to go back!

Contributing to the delinquency of a minor

2011-07-17T19:01:00.003-06:00

I took my 18.75 yr. old son to a movie the other day. We both just wanted to see something funny, so after a Chinese lunch, we headed over to the theater to see a movie that looked good on the t.v.ads. I was expecting the somewhat raunchy type of comedy found in HangoverI (which I thought was hilarious) and Couples Retreat. Yeah it's off-color, but I being the crass, uncouth person that I am, enjoy that once in a while. Don, on the other hand, does not appreciate anything "crude". So, I figured I would see it with Ty.

Let me tell you, it was very uncomfortable! I thought people must be looking at us, thinking "I can't believe she would bring her son to see this!" (they weren't). Granted, he is an adult and HE was laughing out-loud. I felt HORRIBLE having taken Ty to see such a vulgar, crude, downright nasty movie. There was no nudity or sex, just the most vulgar, crude talk and situations.

I apologized to Tyler afterwards and he said that he knew I was going to say that.
"It's okay Mom, I liked it. Don't feel bad, I'm a big boy, now."
Yes, you are big and grown -up. And I still feel bad!

The radiation is going well. I will have a couple of exhausted days in a row, thinking "oh no! Here it is!" Then it goes away and I feel great! I think after the weekend, it kind of hits me harder on Mon. and Tues. But by Wed. I feel okay! As they ready me for the gamma-rays, they drape a small towel over my chest, then pull on the center to form a deep,"V" between my breast. The other day I commented that it reminded me of the deep, cowl necked style of the early 80's, that is now back in vogue. That night I went to a concert with Shan and what was the lady next to us wearing?

Speaking of the concert, I love concerts! They are one of the joys of my life, occasions where I feel my authentic self, I know that sounds kind of silly, but it's true. The David Gray concert was wonderful, at Kingsbury Hall, great seats, lush sounds and creative staging, just wonderful!

Vacation, Radiation

2011-07-03T19:26:00.048-06:00

Wow, it's been almost a month since I last posted!
I loved New York and Nova Scotia! Hope to go back to NY now that I know what I want to see and kind of have an idea of how to get around. Taking the bus from New Jersey every morning worked out great and The Fails were very gracious hosts! Fun to spend some time with them and their little girls! On the flight to New York, Don was given a big bag of peanuts packets, don't ask me why. Anyway, when we got them I told Ty that I thought we should share them with everyone. His reply, a wry "Oh mom, always the Socialist", this delivered with a smile and a gentle pat on my shoulder. haha

Started Radiation, so far so good, only 5 days into it but I am optimistically anticipating just being "a little tired" Please, if you have been through radiation don't burst my bubble.

My first day, I emerged from the dressing room, my arms crossed in modesty, gown wrapped tightly around my boobs which were trying to enjoy their unfettered freedom by swaying freely. There were a few men in the waiting area and I thought to myself that "I wish they would make the men wait for patients in another area". The next day I saw the same men and realized I had, as usual, judged too quickly. They were patients themselves.

The actual radiation experience, at the risk of sounding irreverent, is a little...is "crucificatory" a word? When you lay upon the table, your feet are bound together, one over the other with a giant rubber-band to restrict your movement and your arms are raised above your head, hands crossed, gripping some bars. I'm sorry but the first time I assumed that position, a picture of some renaissance crucifixion illustration flashed through my head.

As the different screens/lenses/whatevers rotate over me, I am reminded of a microscope, the old fashioned kind. You had to turn the wheel of lenses for a closer look at the creature in the petri dish!
There is a backlit scene of blossoming trees and a cloud scattered blue sky above me, perpetually Spring. I have to admit that when the techs leave the room for their safety and I am alone with the machine and the cheery tableau above me, I sometimes fight a lump in my throat.

Last Thursday I had a cyst removed from my inner right eyelid... a torturous, horrific, awful experience. Came home with a huge, white patch and Don said he thought we should go out and get some dinner... "You've got to be kidding".

Next week more fun! It just gets better and better! Colonoscopy!! Stay tuned!

meh...

2011-06-07T20:29:00.000-06:00

Hi friends!
I just haven't felt like writing...sorry.

Our New York/Canadian Cruise is coming up in just a week. I have travel anxiety.We will be gone for 11 days, tooo long for me. We had the sky miles to use, but in order to use them we had to make this convoluted plan because heaven forbid we pay CASH for a ticket!! Sky miles are soo hard to use! We are staying in New Jersey with Don's niece. There is a bus that stops on her corner and goes into the city with a 20 minute trip. This worries me. Often, outings with Don are kind of like the Bataan Death March. He is able to go and go and I just can't tromp over New York from 9 - 9! Actually, Don and the boys went to Disneyland last week. They got there when the gates opened at 8 and got home at 11:30! I can't do that so... I worry. I just need to say "damnit I'm tired and we need to go back", right? Yeah...
We'll have two days before the cruise in N.J., then 5 day cruise to Nova Scotia, then two days after in N.J. I like a 5 day trip. I will keep you all posted.

I saw another doctor, a surgeon who specializes in breast and she thought radiation would work but wanted me to talk to the radio-onc. The radio-onc, (whom I liked very much!) explained the Van Nuys scale to me and it's not about how cool and beach-y you are. The scale rates your age, cancer grade, area and margins and gives you a score. I scored 8-9. 10-12 would have called for a mastectomy. So I start radiation on the 27th of June, every morning at 8:15 for 6 weeks. I can hear many of you saying, "8:15!!" I chose the time, I'm an early riser. I was able to get my tattoos the same day and the c.t.scan. Now that I have 5 tats, I'm considering getting my tongue pierced.
The thing to remember is my cancer, dcis, is a very early cancer.

On a more fun note! I am going to at least two concerts this summer! Just got tickets to David Gray!! and K.D. Lang in August at Red Butte! I'd like to go to Death Cab For Cutie but am not wild about the venue. Maybe just buy the new album and listen to them out in the backyard on a pleasant summer night!
I could go on, but I won't. haha, there are times when I shouldn't write.

The Follow-up to "Ouch"

2011-05-03T21:41:00.002-06:00

Well, I'm sure all (3) of you have been on the edge of your seat, wondering what happened with the biopsy. As I told my parents, kids and friends: I didn't want to say anything until I knew what "exactly" to say.

When they call to report the results and ask if "you have a minute", it ain't good.
Long story short
Ductal Carcinoma in Situ or dcis.
He was very surprised
very early stage, but
found in both sites
may need mastectomy because of site distance
no lymph involvement with dcis

I saw the surgeon today. He feels good about a lumpectomy with five weeks of radiation treatments, to follow. I go in on Thursday morning, yes in 2 days! I'm glad! I need to be proactive and just want it over with.
If a mastectomy is needed because of lumpectomy results, I don't want reconstruction. I don't know how you feel about this, but my old gals have fulfilled their purpose. They were darling and did their job in helping me attract a mate, they fed my babies and now, if needs be, I am happy to send them off into the sunset.

I shall call my 2011 vacation, Summer of the Gamma Rays.

ouch

2011-04-25T20:50:00.000-06:00

Hello!

I actually had an email I had sent today come back twice before I realized it was because of the message, "hello!" I realize now that the innocuous greeting is the tag for many a Viagra, Young Russian Ladies and other unsavory spam email. Who woulda thunk?

Last night I dreamed of tigers. Acting unafraid as I walked calmly by several tigers (they can smell fear, you know) I made my perilous way into the school...at night. Actually, I never really made it, not because I was attacked by a tiger, no, my ploy worked with them, rather it was one of those "lost, trying to get somewhere on time" dreams. You know the ones I'm talking about.

I don't think it takes Freud to figure this out: tigers dreams + lost dreams = anxiety.
Why was I so anxious, even if it was a sub-conscious anxiety? Double biopsy the next morning, this morning, 8:00a.m. sharp. (Oh! Don't use the word sharp!) I didn't think I was worried, but dreams don't lie.

I have "calcifications". Had them in the right, biopsied breast 6 years ago and now in the left. Saw them 6 months ago in the left, just got the new mammo and there they were, nothing changed. Good right? But the Dr. that read this mammo said he wanted to check them out. So, this morning I found my self with my left breast hanging through a hole, like I was ice-fishing with booby-bate. I just hope, with the metal markers now in both of the girls, I don't set off any alarms.

I am home watching a chick flik, with an ice pack and a bruised boob super-glued together in two places, waiting 48-72 hrs for the verdict.

And now I say

ouch!

It's is officially Spr-inter!

2011-04-04T20:59:00.000-06:00

Dad's 80th Surprise Birthday Party was a big success. Almost 100

friends, neighbors and family were there and he really was surprised!

My mom worked so hard putting this together.

Woke up to no power and 6" of snow April 2nd. It's Spr-inter in Utah!

I need only to look at this and feel all is right with the world!

I could eat her up!

Everyone needs to play hookie now and then!

2011-03-23T22:11:00.004-06:00

I took a half-day today, when I realized we had 2 hours of special science presentations and I wouldn't have my usual small groups in the afternoon. Left at lunch to go downtown to Art and Soup, a fund-raiser for a Home Health Care organization. They bring together abt. 20 different artists and restaurants and you wander around perusing fine art and eating samples of soup, bread, pastries AND a free scoop of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream (Late Night Snack: a mixture of salty and sweet, mmm!)
Disappointingly, about half the soups offered were some sort of Tomato based soup, the best being a Tomato/Sherry soup, oh, it was good! My other favorite soup was a cream of plantain/green banana with a little dollop of mascarpone and watercress pesto and a little teaspoon of shredded crab, different and deelish! I don't often get to enjoy fine dining, so to experience the melding of exotic, unique flavors is a real treat for me!

All of the art I really loved was, of course, too expensive although I would dearly love to purchase some real art if I were to ever come into some money... I think I'll have to be satisfied with prints!

I finished Jane Eyre. I realized, shortly after starting it, that the Jane Eyre I had read when I was a pre-teen was the Reader's Digest Condensed version, quite different from the original! My mom bought me a subscription to the R.D.C. series. They were colorfully bound, simplified versions of the classics. I loved those books! They were a good introduction to literature. I still have them!
I appreciated the dictionary feature on the Kindle as I read it, this time! The language is very ornate and the sentences long! It felt good to do a little brain pilates! I liked the book as it made me think. I am not a "black and white" person and I had a hard time relating to many of the choices Jane felt she had to make. Also, I don't believe that Rochester's injuries were divine retribution or tutoring, - - - - happens. And why oh why didn't she bring little Adele home to live with them, especially after her own terrible childhood experiences! I wondered if perhaps Jane enjoyed the sense of power her care- giving, for the disabled Rochester, afforded her. She really had the upper hand in that situation.

I'm looking forward to seeing the movie, although I'll probably be disappointed in the casting choices as I have a pretty clear idea of what I think Jane and Mr. Rochester should look like. That's the trouble with movies based on books. Have you seen the casting for Water for Elephants?
Really!
The creepy vampire from Twilight! That's the best they could do! (Sorry to all you Twilight fans out there)

a few asides

2011-03-07T22:38:00.004-07:00

Check out Adele's new song, Rumor Has It! Love it!

Check out Mitt's new business casual style! I like it.

Check out this Anthropologie infant skirt! No, it wasn't some Cold War Era, Romanian gypsy child's hand-me-down, someone actually paid cash money for it! When will the (IMO) Anthro-ugly craze end!

She seems to me to be a worthy approximation of the highly tenacious Miss Eyre, notwithstanding the fripperies of accoutrement which display a destitution of sensible austerity. (thanks be to thesaurus, forgive me Charlotte)

Now I will retire to my study and continue to read Jane Eyre, in preparation for the new movie version, while awaiting the required 4 comments from my 4 readers.

Apples to Oranges

2011-02-23T19:18:00.005-07:00

I recently saw two of the movies that are up for Best Picture.

After seeing The Fighter and The King's Speech, my son asked me which I would choose for Best Picture. It is like comparing apples to oranges.

King's English (dang! I KEEP calling it that!) is a refined, leisurely walk through drizzly London with handsome, troubled royalty, namely, soulfully brown-eyed Colin Firth. I felt I was really visiting pre-World War II London with the terrific set design and costumes.

The Fighter is a bumpy ride through the bad side of Boston with the best body in Hollywood, darling Mark Wahlberg and his, spot on, early 90's costumed sisters. Oh! the hair and acid washed jeans! Christian Bale is fabulous as the crack-head brother. His personal transformation as Dicky, the ne'r do well boxer, is astounding! The family dynamics make for a good discussion on whether it's possible to escape one's family.

In both you are cheering for the underdog while being wildly entertained by the supporting cast. Kudos to the costume designer in both. The soundtracks are so well chosen, placing you right in the scene musically.

My personal favorite is The Fighter, but they are both deserving of best picture.

I've also seen:
True Grit- really liked it but, in my opinion, this remake of a movie I liked in the seventies just wasn't powerful enough to be Best Pic Oscar worthy.
The Kids are Allright- Again, imo, shouldn't have been nominated. Although Mark Rufello was pretty hot in it.
Toy Story 3- cute, touching, sweet, fun...but it has to make me think to be in the running.
Inception- Huh? Guess I'm too dumb or too old to get it.Great visuals!
.Social Network- Runner up to Fighter and King's... Maybe it just came out too early to be strongly in in my memory.
Haven't seen Black Swan.
Want to see Winter's Bone!
Let me know what you think!

HELP!

2011-02-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Readers!
I have a favor to ask...
I am teaching Relief Society (my church's women's group) on Sunday. The subject is Service.
I'd like to use many anecdotes in my lesson and I thought it might be fun to have the perspective of some of my readers.
Think about these questions and reply if you'd like, by Saturday night, the19th of February.

What has been the most meaningful service you have given to another?
Was it an assignment or guided by the Spirit in an independent act? or a mix of both?

What is the most meaningful service you have received?

Any thoughts on the everyday service we render to family or in our jobs?

Thanks readers! I know it's short notice, but just had the brainstrom!

This is what happens....

2011-02-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

when a stay-at home, semi-famous, mommy blogger wants to prove that she's just like us, messy house and all.

when a well known Home Decor blogger is

convinced she

makes a mean slipcover.

when Grandmother can afford allll the brow-lifts she desires.


when...just a minute, I have to go throw up!

As you can see, I've been entertaining myself with a wide variety of blogs. : )

I've got a "man cold"

2011-02-02T21:13:00.002-07:00

It's an oldie but goodie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz6DktXFvg4
At the end, the E.M.T. sneeringly says, "Have you ever heard of Lemsip?" (a British cold remedy).

I really do have a man cold, coughing, nose flowing...not just running, disappearing voice... Missed one day of school and slept for about 18 hours straight. And now, there's a Whooping Cough warning and a cry goes out for teachers to get a booster!
I can tell you just when the enemy attacked. Sitting with a group, a girl sitting not a foot from me, suddenly "full-on" coughs right in my face. I wanted to yell, "Medic, Medic!! I'm hit!!" I knew then I was a goner... I will guess conservatively that 80% of our school teachers and students have had this bad virus. It started in November and I must admit I was feeling almost smug that it hadn't yet hit me...until the viral air invasion.
To Don's credit, he bought Kentucky Fried Chicken on Tuesday and Taco Bell tonight, so I didn't have to cook. Thanks honey!

The Latest Lexie Looks

She's definitely got her daddy's brown eyes!

Catching little snippets of Terms of Endearment as I write. I love that movie! Jack Nicholson...gotta admire a guy that admits he is no longer irresistible to women.
"I can’t hit on women in public any more. I didn’t decide this; it just doesn’t feel right at my age." Kudos to you, Jack! I don't know...there's something about that sardonic lift of the eyebrow... just stick to your own age group.

You've got mail!!

2011-01-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

It was actually about the world's dirtiest hotels. hehehehe

Sundance Film Festival... a bitter, broken dream.

2011-01-17T09:51:00.002-07:00

Some of you know that one of the items on my "bucket list" is to attend Sundance, meaning the Film Festival.

When I say "attend Sundance", I'm not even talking about going up to Park City, trying to catch a glimpse of Ashton Kutcher, in my most stylish cold weather clothes (which would be jeans, an olive colored pea coat and Merrill boots). I just mean I want to see at least one of the films, right down here in Salt Lake, in said stylish clothes. I love Indy films, documentaries, shorts and while Netflix delivers them right to my door and I see a few at the local "art house", the Broadway Centre Theater, I've never actually seen a Festival film screened as part of the Festival.

So this year was going to be my year! I logged on early, got my username and password, registering for the chance to get Advance tickets! I would receive an email on the 20th of December, telling me if I had been randomly chosen to line up at an appointed place and time to buy tickets. I was so excited and counted down the days til the 20th, when I eagerly checked my email and...

nothing from Sundance.

Saturday the 9th of January, I check my email in the late morning, abt. 11:30.
Hmm, something from Sundance.
"Just a reminder that tomorrow, January 9th, is your ticket day. Bring the form you received on the 20th and your i.d. to purchase your tickets at the box office at 10:30."
WTF!?

Bummer, but on to plan B.

I made my list of favorites and anxiously awaited the 17th of January, online Open Ticket Sales day . Lucky for me, I was off school for MLK on the 17th , enabling me to hit the site at 12:01 a.m., being in the "front of the line", so to speak.

Nothing available, everything on "wait list".

That means you get to the screening two hours before, get a number, come back one half hour before show starts, get in line numerically and see how many get in. That sounds okay, until you realize that there will be people there three hours before, to get the 2 hours-before-numbers.
What to do...
I may decide to try for a wait list. Hope for optimal weather, take one of the young'uns with me, drop them off to get in line while I find a place to park, stand in the cold for who knows how long, wish I had more stylish attire, kill 2-3 hours downtown before the show...

How long before I can get them on Netflix?

A dose of Cute!

2011-01-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

In the bleak midwinter we all need a dose of cute!
If you aren't familiar with Chickens in the Road, you need to check her out.
She has a new baby goat. I love baby goats!!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!

So oooo c c ccold!!!

2011-01-10T17:23:00.001-07:00

It is "The Road" kind of cold.
It is cold as hell, because I have always thought of hell as a cold place.
It is colder than a witch's tit. (an old saying of my dad's)
It is, and has been, so cold this month.
I am very grateful for a furnace, blankets, socks and coats, also a working car
and the promise of warmth in a couple of months!
It's just winter, being winter.
Now excuse me, while I go turn up the heat!

the Requisite New Year/Old Year Post

2011-01-02T00:33:00.000-07:00

2010, You were a blur.
Like a fast and furious road trip from January 2010 to Dec. 2010
When I got to December I thought, "Wasn't I just here! That can't have been a year ago!"
Like a road trip,
I had many wonderful stops,
saw beautiful scenery,
had some flat tires
met some new people, reconnected with some old
read a lot of books
ran out of gas a couple of times

argued about how to pack the car
sped on the super highway when I should have taken the backroads
thought a lot and came to no conclusions

Next year, what kind of a trip will you be?
How many of the road hazards will I be able to avoid?
How can I get there from here?
Want to revisit some of my favorite places and discover new.
Pay my tickets without whining and
No cruise control.

My Real Life Baby Doll

2010-12-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

Fifty years ago, Santa brought me a baby doll with a wooden cradle. When my folks moved away from my childhood home, it was one of the things I chose to save. It always has a quilt or a blanket folded in it, waiting for a chilly night.
Steve, Ash and Lexie stayed over the other night in order to leave early for the airport. Steve asked me if I had anything Lex could sleep in. I couldn't think of anything and suggested just piling some blankets on the floor. He thought of the cradle in my room. At first I didn't know what he was talking about, then we went in and looked. I supposed it would work...

hehehehehe, she barely fits. I guess I have come full circle from baby doll to grand baby!

3 x Taylor Swift's right arm = 1 of my arms.

2010-12-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

I know she's darling and all, but I couldn't get this connection out of my head. Honestly, did they fotoshop her right arm to appear so skeletal!

My son, the fooze.

2010-12-13T23:01:00.000-07:00

I need to introduce all of you readers to my wonderful son, Barry.
He has a blog named the fooze.
When he was just a little toddler, my silly-lovey name for him (do you also invent those?) was foozerfay...I know you are all thinking "where the heck did she come up with that"?
Well, as I remember, it had something to (vaguely) do with the novel Watership Down, only in that, foozerfay was a whimsical, magical, nonsensical sounding silly, lovey-name. Anyway, Barry has remembered it and used it in the more adult form of, the fooze.
The reason you need to read his blog is that he is often the family photographer, chronicling our family history. He has posted some darling pictures of my grand daughter Alexa and the rest of the family! Since I can't find the time to write my blog lately, you can look at his for things I would post if I had time.
His writing and photos of other topics are also entertaining! And he's very handsome as his pictures show! And he's a high jumper! And I love him! So check out his blog for all the things I am too lazy/ tired/ busy to post!

A typical email that my poor friends are subjected to regularly.

2010-12-06T20:25:00.001-07:00

Written Sunday the 5th Dec. 2010
hey on the 22nd there's a free performance, no tickets needed, just get there 45 min early. It's at 12:15, YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME? damn caps lock!
hahaha or else I just yelled, "YOU WANNA GO WITH ME!!!!!" HAHAHA anyway, we could go to lunch, relax. let me know. Also signed up to get Sundance tickets, I'm trying to go this year, always wanted to go, better now than never! I have everything up cept one village, need to make the "frame" for it so bought the styrofoam but it's such a mess and to do it on the deck, too cold today. oh well I did get my stove cleaned, all beds finally made(from last weeks visitors) lots of shopping online and in store done.( yeah, I'm the one teaching the "Keep the Sabbath day holy" lesson in 2 weeks)
hope you had a nice rest today, that really was a generous thing to do for your ward members, you are a good person!
I am so emotional lately, saw a stray cat today in the office depot parking lot, had to struggle not to think about it and not cry, read about all the f----n pedophiles in the paper yesterday and again just felt hopeless, little boy stood up in testimony meeting and said they were getting kicked out of their trailer. He comes out to church every week by himself, he's 12, I cried and felt powerless. Then I saw this preview for a Sundance Festival movie, A Small Act and I felt better. All you can do is one small act at a time, just make sure you do them. Like you and your roasts ; ) love you, Cathy

Finally! Grandbaby!

2010-11-10T22:50:00.001-07:00

Until my last post, Blogger would not allow me (for some mysterious reason!) to add photos! So I had to depend on Designergal, thefooze and Facebook to share pictures of my first grandchild. But now that "insert image" is working, here we go!

Ashlyn, being a modest, private girl, didn't want a roomful of people when delivered so we waited for "the phone call". I had just ended my school day when Steve called and told us to get down to American Fork, "she's about to have the baby!" Baby Alexa was born right after that call.

As soon as we entered the heavy, security doors, I heard her angry scream from behind the door of the birthing room, where Ashlyn and Alexa struggled with the Lactation Expert. Steve walked out of and toward us and at that moment, with baby Alexa angrily announcing herself to the world, I just wanted to burst into tears myself.
It seemed there was a great convergence of the future meeting the past. I thought of all my progenitors. I thought of her little body, already complete with everything that would "make her Lexie". I thought of myself as a grandma. Steve was suddenly a whole new "man" person to me. More so than ever, I felt his independence from me. I know it sounds crazy, but all these thoughts, and more, flashed in my mind, in the time it took Steve to walk across the waiting area and hug me. I didn't let myself cry.
When the lactation expert finally exited the room, we were allowed in.
We greeted Ashlyn's parents and began our grinning marathon. I just could not stop marveling at her!
She was so little and perfect and I thought to myself that, surely, my babies were never that small! Were they? Of course they were, within a couple of pounds! I had forgotten how tiny a newborn is!

Later that night, when I got to hold her, with Steve making sure I "watched her head", I was in love!

I don't think it ever stops! Right, Grandmas out there?

Fall is here!

2010-11-06T15:28:00.000-06:00

Golden leaves floating past the windows.

Plum mums blooming in the Aspens.

Windows open to mild temps.

Beautiful Fall!

A quiet night at home

2010-10-29T20:21:00.001-06:00

Don's just in from being outta town for 3 days, so of course we are spending a quiet night at home together. Don has the remote and is flipping back and forth between these 4 choices:
College Football- West Virginia vs. Connecticut
HANNITY- with the accompanying rants, grumbles and exclamations emitting from Don.
(Is it just me or does Hannity look more like Jay Leno everyday?)
Red Dawn- I wish the Cubans would win this time, just for a change.
Revenge of Frankenstein (1958)- "It's in color!"

I'm going upstairs to watch The Education of Charlie Banks, starring the darling Jesse Eisenberg. If I close the door and turn up the volume real loud, I might drown out:
" off sides!"
"that's why I hate the damn Liberals!"
"Wolverines!"
"It's alive!"
On a more entertaining note: Have you seen the freaky, old, Halloween pictures on the Washington Post ? Really fun! Most fun I've had all night.

Sitting 'round the kidney shaped table

2010-10-20T18:54:00.001-06:00

Alondra- "Mrs. Cann, your hair looks different today."

Me- " Oh, that's because when I took a shower this morning, the steam made it curly and I didn't straighten it."

Isaac- "Do you get a shower every morning?"

Me- "Pretty much."

Isaac (nodding) - "yeah, 'cause old people have to take a bath a lot!"

ahh, those kids!

With the Fourth Graders

2010-10-09T15:16:00.007-06:00

Time has been moving along at warp speed since school started. Here we are, already into October!

Working with the 4th grade kids has been great. I love the kids I teach and get such a kick out of them! Meeting in small groups, we sit around a kidney shaped table in close quarters. When kids sit that close to you, they get a close-up view as they, often unabashedly, study you. Last week one girl was looking at me closely and asked if I waxed my eyebrows. They often tell me I smell good. A couple of years ago, a student asked me what the bump on my lower eyelid was, prompting me to finally see an opthomologist, leading to its removal and a "not cancerous" verdict. I hadn't even considered cancer! Even from a distance, kids notice you. The other day, as I passed him in the lunch room, a Second grader told me he "liked my hair." On the other side of the spectrum, I was once told matter-of-factly that I had "a big tummy."
My job is intervention. The kids I teach are usually 2+ years behind their grade level in Reading. I see them for 30 minutes, working on mostly phonics and fluency, then I leave and go on to the next group.
I have so much respect and appreciation for every minute their classroom teacher spends serving these kids. It is hard work, exhausting work, take home from school work.
You know how grandparents say, after spending a couple of days with the grandkids, "there's a reason you have your kids when you're young!", I think it's the same with teaching. My job is kind of like being a grandma. I don't have all 30 at a time. I'm not there, with them in the classroom, all day.I don't deal with the myriad of problems that come up in the school day. I hope that, by my small attempts to serve them, they know how much I admire and honor them. It really is, largely, a thankless profession.
The best thanks I get is when my students feel proud of themselves after presenting a Readers Theater to their class with all the giggly jitters of a broadway production, or recognize one of their vocabulary words in another book, or when one asks me why he can't come to be tutored in the morning, as well as the afternoon. After all, everyone likes to go to grandma's.
So if I complain, know that I love my job, that I'm ever grateful for it and that even with the frustrations, it is usually a great source of happiness, and purpose, for me.

Is my sandwich stale?

2010-09-28T22:58:00.002-06:00

My good friend Red Shoes told me today, "your sandwich is stale."
"What?"
"Your sandwich is stale, you need a new post."
Actually I'd been thinking about it on the way to school. I know getting new bras and a good samich will only carry an audience so far.
I know I need a new post but my thoughts are all over the place lately.
What I'd really like to talk about...are things I can't talk about. To let these thoughts out of their cage would open a window that I may never be able to fly back through, hurt the feelings of those written about, get me in trouble at work, show me for the judgemental, sarcastic person I am (deep inside). So, no deep revelations here, no snarky comments about other bloggers, no tell-alls about family or work.
I will say this:
I am too noisy. My husband complains that I'm "too loud" when I sleep. No, not "you snore." I BREATH too loud... Oh I'm sorry darling, I'll try not to breath. This, after all of the years I have put up with his horrendous snoring.
I am being asked to do more, for less, at work.
I am waking up with a start, around 4 in the morning, and feeling immediate anxiety for no reason. Well, we all know there's always a reason, but what is it?
I LOVE once again working with kids at school.
I am uneasy about my job and it's future, as in next year. Just a gut feeling, but still...
I need a haircut.
I have company coming from out of town and my stove is dirty, my new family room pillows are, as yet, pillow forms lined up over bolts of fabric on my family room floor. My sewing machine sits next to all of it, crying out for some action.
The desk chair is still not painted black and the shower curtain fabric is nestled amongst the "future pillows."
I have a crap load of things to do, but am not motivated. Carol, my visitor, won't care if I have a new shower curtain made.
I'm reading a terrific book, Half Broke Horses.
See? My thoughts are all over the place.

This one is for girls only.

2010-09-11T15:48:00.001-06:00

After getting a couple of new bras, I had a craving for a Schlotzky's.
When I was pregnant with my caboose, I lived on these sandwiches and came out of the pregnancy 15 lbs lighter than when I went in! Sitting there eating my lunch took me back to those days, they were pretty darn good. All of my other kids were in school, I wasn't working then, (at least not for pay), I'd get up, pack lunches, cook pancakes (I was the uber homemaker), clean the house (I vacuumed every day!), put in some laundry, then go shopping, volunteer at school, work on projects, take a little nap just before the kids came home... yes, the good ol' days! Not that these days also aren't pretty darn good...
Speaking of bra shopping, there is not much I dislike more than getting half nekkid in a dressing room and trying on bras. You feel so vulnerable. So I don't. I bring a bunch home and return the ones I don't want. Ladies, is there anything that feels better than a new, well fitting bra! My poor girls were gettin' no support! They'd start off okay but after a little while they'd start the inevitable downward spiral, well not really a spiral, but definitely downward. You know the Cheryl Crow song "Are You Strong Enough to be My Man"? My bra shopping anthem is "Are you Strong Enough to be My Bra?" I want thick straps, underwires, side stays, sturdy but smooth cups and as many hooks on the back as you want to provide! THAT is not an easy thing to find! But I found a couple at Penney's and they were 25% off, to boot!
So a Schlotzky's sandwich and well supported boobies...it was a good day!

15 Albums

2010-08-25T21:14:00.001-06:00

My cousin just sent me a 15 Albums meme.

Okay, I'm thinking...

Let's start at the beginning.
My parents got me little black tape recorder/player when I was 12.
It was accompanied by the latest Association cassette, with the song Cherish featured. You know, "cherish is the word I use to descri- ibe, all the feelings that I have, hiding here for you insi-ide"
While I was wild about the recorder, I wasn't, even then, a fan of soft-pop. As soon as I could save up my babysitting allowance money, I went out and bought Fresh Cream. I had a crush on the wildly red headed drummer,Ginger Baker. " I feeeeeel free!"
Deja Vu soon followed and Niel Young's Harvest, my folks said they thought Harvest was "a little too hippy.,"

During that same time, my parents were buying albums. Carole King"s Tapestry, The Tijuana Brass and Henry Mancini was always playing on the big stereo console as we readied the patio for a big family b.b.q.
1972, a boyfriend gave me Sticky Fingers for my birthday, you know, the one with the pants that unzipped and revealed a tighty whitey clad package!! Tea for the Tillerman, Every Picture Tells a Story, Low Spark of High Heeled Boys and Summer Breeze was the soundtrack of that summer along with Let's Stay Together and Close to You.
Out of high school, Peter Frampton ALIVE! Then the great period of California country rock began! All Linda Rondstadt albums of the time and the Eagles, they count for 5, at least!
College years:
Homesick- listening to Court and Spark
Discovering Jazz- Touch, Suite for Flute and Jazz Piano
and I began my love affair with Steeley Dan.
I could go on and on, don't worry I won't!
What great memories these albums bring back to me! It's funny to think that this music still appeals to my essence. My tastes havent changed much in 40 years. As time goes on, I discover new sounds that I enjoy, none of them particularly "age appropriate". I really enjoy music and like to keep up with what's current. That will be harder once the last kid has left home.
Let me know what music soundtracked your earlier years!

End of Summer

2010-08-19T23:13:00.000-06:00

I am mourning the end of Summer
I am distinctly feeling the approach of it's demise this year.
I spend warm nights at the table out on the deck reading or on the laptop, savoring the lovely music of the fountain and the crickets, realizing that these are seasonal pleasures that will soon come to an end.
My favorite parts of Summer were
Spending time with friends doing things we enjoy.
Reading
Completing projects in the house and yard.
Taking my kids to lunch.
Seeing new, beautiful places.
Visiting my folks.
Learning to DVR and enjoying The Fabulous Beekman Boys, when the rest of the house was asleep.
Are these activities exclusively Summertime things?
No. But part of what makes them so precious is that, I guess I reserve them for Summer.
Because once I'm back to work, I'm tired when I get home and Saturday and Sunday are so packed full of obligations, that the fun falls by the wayside.
I have to make a better effort to organize my time so that I can enjoy the fun all through the year, especially with my friends...
and the Beekman Boys.

My Happy Place and a sorta Summer 'Gift of the Magi'.

2010-08-03T09:37:00.132-06:00

Therapeutically, we are often told to, "Go to your happy place". Everyone needs a "happy place".
For some, that place is hiking in the mountains, or sitting in a football stand cheering as your team runs on to the field or standing on a sandy shore listening to the crash of waves. It's different for everyone.
It's a place where you just...feel like you... a happy you. Know what I mean?

My "happy place" is being outside, listening to live-music I love, sitting next to someone who "gets" me.

The venue doesn't really matter, although Red Butte Gardens Ampitheater is phenomenal, it's the breezes, and the black outlines of surrounding trees as darkness settles, dragonflies cruising over-head, clouds rolling by. It's the connection you feel with the artist who has traveled in a bus, albeit a very luxurious bus, overnight to come and entertain you, to share some of their most poignant thoughts with you in music. Heck, the thoughts don't even have to be poignant, I love a story about a honkeytonk just as much as a sad tale of lost love.
I decided last Winter, that I needed to go to my happy place more often. I'm at an age and a place in my life where I am able to do more things for ME and I decided that it was time for me to start doing just that.
I watched carefully for the announcement of Red Butte's Summer concert schedule, bought a membership to get a leg up on other ticket purchasers and on the opening day, excitedly, bought 2 tickets to two shows: Mary Chapin Carpenter, a favorite of my mine and Shan's, and The Prairie Home Companion. Whoohoo!!
To make a long story short, at the end of May, I thought to myself "Look at those tickets and see what the dates are for the concerts."
The tickets were gone. I looked in each of the three specific places where I woud have put them and they were not there. One of the places I had recently organized and I was afraid the tickets may have accidently ended up with the "throw-aways". Another place they could/should have been is where I keep the weekly grocery ads and they could have been gathered up to make room for the new ads and again, gone to the recycling bin.
Needless to say, I was devastated. The tickets were expensive and I also had the niggling, if irrational, feeling of, "Well, this is what happens when you selfishly spend money on silly things you love.." I know I am not alone on this one. Alot of us, especially moms of my age, just arent used to giving ourselves a treat.
I called Shan, sobbing into the phone, "I've lost the tickets." She could barely understand me as I was crying harder than I can remember allowing myself for a long, long time. She calmed me with a sympathetic ear asking me if maybe they could be replaced, but I knew that was impossible aside from buying more, all sales final, etc...
A couple of days later, she called to tell me that, "a friend told her that the things they send out aren't the actual tickets. You have to pick the actual tickets up with your i.d. at the ticket box previous to the concert."
"Are you sure!"
"Yes! that's what my friend said!"
I excitedly called the ticket office and, HALLELUJIA, it was true!!
NOW, for the Gift of the Magi part... I am crying as I write this...
The day after my hysterical phone call, Shan and Andrew put their heads together and decided that they would replace my Mary C.C. tickets, giving them to me for my birthday. They are a young couple without much money, but they wanted to sacrifice to make me happy, because they love me.
After buying the tickets and asking how soon they would get there, Shannon, not "her friend" was told it is a voucher that is mailed and that you pick them up with your I.D.
So, now Shan and Andrew were the proud owners of two expensive tickets AND my own two tickets were waiting for me to pick up them up.
I didn't know any of this, until she told me the story as we were driving on our way to the concert. Thankfully, they were able to sell their tickets.
Darling Shannon and Andrew, that was one of the nicest things anyone has done for me. Thank you for being so generous and caring for your old mom! I love you.

The evening was sublime and I can't wait for Prairie Home Companion!

Come with me through the garden gate...

2010-07-31T20:29:00.001-06:00

Mid-July the garden starts to look a little...tired, overgrown.
Many of my plants are between blooming. The Morning Glory is going nuts. Everything just needs a general clean-up this time of year. I was so proud of the results of all my hard work, I took some pictures. If you click on the picture, you'll get a better view.

This chair and teacup planter greets you as you walk up to the front porch.

We have to go through the gate past the old metal chair and one of my watering cans. I love the old red mailbox on the fence. Too bad the Bleeding Heart isn't in bloom.

I love sunfaces and little bits of garden whimsy like the big wire bee.


I got this brick from an old farm they tore down and the bench from a yardsale. The planter is an old "topless" table I found in a junk pile.

We found the old pipe when we were roto-tilling the garden when we first moved in.

I made these concrete orbs, I'll do a tutorial sometime.

Hostas in the damp, shade. Want to gaze into the future?

I found the old bike back when I used to have time to scavenge.
I love it! Ditto, the old window frame.

I sit out here, just about every Summer night, reading, writing, listening to the fountain.

One of the baskets hanging from the railing. They are ALWAYS thirsty!

The view from the yard, west to the Ochre Mtns. I love it!

I wish we could all sit down on the adirondacks and have some lunch, laughs and cold drinks together. But for now, the walk will have to suffice. I hope you are all enjoying your own yards and all other summer pleasures, this year!

I been sick

2010-07-23T19:52:00.002-06:00

Man! Sorry it took me soo long to get back to the jury duty tale.
I went down to visit my folks for a couple days and the night I got back, "the pains" started.
"The Pains" : noun See- moderate, turning to sharp stabbing, turning to someone is twisting my innards with the pincers of Hell.
"The Pains", right over my Pubic bone/bladder area.
Woke up the next morning with "The Pains". Went out to work in the yard a little and all of the sudden had no energy whatsoever and could feel the chills creeping up on me. I came in and went to bed, after I drank about a gallon of water.
I slept all day, waking briefly to drink and pee. No pain upon peeing ( SORRY, urinating). Hmm, isn't that usually what happens, with what I was assuming was a bladder infection? Doesn't one usually feel as if they are ~~pee~~ urinating razor blades?
That night "the pain" moved down to include my left side. I realized that no amount of sleep and water were going to fix this.
Thursday, I called early for an appt.
Doc said it sounds like Diverticulitis.
"You win a catscan!" he cheerfully announces.
He has me give a urine sample. OMG, from the looks of what I have filled the cup with, I should already be dead! When he sees the printout, he silently laughs, shaking his head.
"That is the angriest bladder I have ever seen!"

So... definitely bladder infection. Find out Monday about the Diverti....
After 24 hours on 2 different horse-pill antibiotics, I feel much better, although the lower left side is still tender, reminding me every now and then that "you ain't got rid o' me yet! watch out!"

So, on to Jury Duty Free!

Well, I've kinda lost my zest for the rest of the story.
Suffice it to say:
After trying to call several girlfriends with no answer, I called my brother in law, Brent, who works downtown. He walked down to meet me at one of my favorite places, Gourmandise Bakery and we had a yummy lunch. He's good company!
We both commented on how much we had enjoyed my niece's travelogue emails, since she has been in Paris. I told him that I was afraid the only way I was going to see Europe was by movie.We parted ways with that thought and a rumball purchased for a movie treat.
I walked to the "Art house" theater, where I saw "I am Love" a VERY artsy movie, subtitled in English, with a lot of nude Tilda Swinton. It was set in Milan and some other place, beautifully Mediterranean, around Nice. I felt that I had experienced quite a lovely, little taste of Italy, Tilda not withstanding.

Jury Duty

2010-07-14T22:12:00.003-06:00

Monday began my term of Jury duty. I had to call each night to see if I was needed the next day and, BINGO, Monday night I received my marching orders.

Tuesday morning I boarded Trax to go up to the courthouse. I like to take TRAX, it's an adventure for me! I know that anybody who takes it every day would disagree, but I just get a small rush buying the ticket, getting on the train, people watching, listening for my stop and graffiti watching ( I can appreciate it when it's well done). I guess it doesn't take much to entertain me, but it's the novelty of it that I love.

When I got to the courthouse, I sat in a small room filled with 20 other people. Down the row from me sat a woman with sea-green glitter toenails that were grown out about half way. Eeuw! The older man on my left had a white goatee and ponytail. His name was Fritz or Gustav or Hans...something Germanic. The young man on my right never stopped reading his scriptures. He looked neither to the right nor the left, well, on his left was the wall so I can understand that, but still, every time I had to hand him a form, I had to put it right under his nose to get him to notice. He was also chewing gum with his mouth open. It sounded like a soggy, wind-up alarm clock rhythmically ticking away.

They finally called us to line up on the stairs to enter the courtroom. I was standing one step above a cute, tan, 40-ish , blond woman. She was texting with someone back and forth. I happened to glance down as she opened a text, "hurry home Im horny". I swear I wasn't eavesdropping! I just happened to glance down and there he was! Her husband? Boyfriend? Newlyweds? A text from my husband would be more like, "you left your curling iron on again! You're gonna burn the house down damnit!" or my friend's husband would probably say, "Are you gonna be able to fix my lunch? I'm real hungry."
Of course, I guess I shouldn't assume her text-er was a man... It was one of a couple of assumptions I made that day.

We entered the court room. On the left sat two young male lawyers, one better looking and more stylishly dressed than the other. Plain lawyer is introduced as an intern. On the right sat two young lawyers, one of them a young, Hispanic woman with an ornate tattoo on her ankle, the other a young white guy. Next to them slouched an angry looking, 20something kid in a pair of worn, baggy jeans, dirty, old tennis shoes and a use 'da been white t-shirt that had seen better days. He had a big bottle of coke next to his feet on the floor.
I'm thinking, hmmm? Drugs? Theft? As my imagination is working, the judge announces, "This is a Domestic Violence case..." Ahh! Yes. I can see it now. Some poor little white trash girl, getting beat up in the single-wide cause she took the TransAm without asking...

The Judge starts asking us qualifying questions and ask us to raise our hand if we agree.
*Do you think someone might be afraid to report Domestic Violence?
I raise my hand.
*Do you think someone might not want to prosecute someone they have had arrested because of Domestic Violence?
Again I raise my hand.
*Do you think someone might not show up to testify because they have been threatened? I raise my hand to the affirmative.
I get it! That's why the lawyers on the left don't have anyone slouching on their side! Oh you poor little thing. OR maybe she's lying! Maybe she didn't show up to infer he threatened her! Maybe...? My imaginative reverie is interrupted.
*Do you think Domestic Violence should be prosecuted any differently between same sex couples?
Of course not! My hand is not raised.

WAIT! What the...??

That guy is gay! Geez! His lawyers must have told him to dress like the Anti-Gay!

I am not chosen for duty and feel an odd let-down, like I wasn't invited to someone's birthday party. Someone I didn't even like very much anyway.
Cute, blond lady is invited and takes her seat with the three other jurors, including HansGustavFritz AND the toenail lady!

I imagine blond lady sending a text, "Here for the long haul, take a cold shower"

Next: Having Served my Term, I Enjoy my Freedom!

This made me laugh

2010-07-12T23:11:00.000-06:00

My friend Marla posted this on Facebook, a spunky old gal talking about style. I answered I didn't think I had any style, but I expect my movie stars to have it!

Doesn't she look awful! Bust too small, hips look huge! Granny sandals with dress too short. Lanky hair, no make-up, no accessories... Maybe she remembered, at the last minute, she was supposed to be at an awards show.
At first, I thought that was Tom Cruise beside her! hehe, Sorry Tom. You're probably taller than Daniel Radcliff and you WERE adorable in Knight and Day.
Well! that bit of snark was just what I needed!
I have jury duty tomorrow, first time ever! I'll let you know if anything exciting happens

The Versatile Blogger

2010-07-08T21:38:00.006-06:00

My daughter Shannon has awarded me this very auspicious title and has challenged me to share " 7 Little-Known Things About Me". Thanks, Shan! I'll try to do my versatile best, exercising all of my versatility!

1. I have lived in 5 different states: California, Utah, Washington, Texas and Arizona; all for Don's jobs in Media Sales. We've lived in Utah now for 21 years, almost as long as all of my years in my birthplace of El Monte, California.

2. I was, first, an Art Major in college, but had my hopes smashed when my BYU watercolor professor told me he thought I was best suited to teach Junior High Art. Ouch! That was back in my young, "those who can't, teach" days. I didn't know exactly what I was expecting to do with a BFA, but I knew it didn't involve Jr. High kids! I went home for the Summer, started teaching Children's Sunday School, loved it and changed my major. I graduated with an Elementary Ed. Major and an Art Minor.

3. I like to sleep in messy sheets. I like to really nestle into them so drafts can't find me. To accomplish this, on my side of our king size bed, I have a full sized sheet under the shared sheet. The extra sheet is tucked in with the extra yardage gathered at the foot of the bed. You can't see it when the bed is made, it doesn't look lumpy or anything!

4. I was a sleepwalker and still talk in my sleep occasionally. Once when I was a teenager I actually went outside, sleepwalking! I woke up as I reentered my house and it scared the beegeezuz outta me!

5. I love sour things like dill pickles, capers, olives, sauerkraut... I LOVE Chicken Piccata/Scallopini!

6. I've always wished I looked like Anne Archer.

7. The tiny green light on the smoke alarm, the tiny blue light on the phone charging and the lights on the VCR all bother me at night. I have to cover them up...weird, I know.

Well, there are my 7 Little-Known Facts. I'm weirder than I thought!

I'm Baa-ack

2010-06-28T20:07:00.029-06:00

Last week was spent with my husband and 2/4ths of our kids, in a Honda CRV, crisscrossing the land between Yellowstone and South Dakota. The most American of vacations, the road trip is "see the USA in a Chevrolet" kind of fun. In fact, when I read that 1960's slogan, a picture forms in my head of a family: Mom in capri pants, a string of pearls adorning her crisply starched peter pan collar; Dad smoking a pipe, hair Brylcreamed into a perfect wave above is forehead; 2 children, a boy and a girl, both with a spray of freckles across their cheeks, bright-eyed with the excitement of "seeing the USA in a Chevrolet" and the joyful anticipation of riding in a 72 sq. foot space for hours on-end with people they love and can't get away from!

We got into West Yellowstone and were unable to check into our hotel until later. When we finally went back to check in, they explained that we were actually booked into the "annex" just around the corner...OMG.

This picture doesn't really do it justice. It was like the the Bates hotel meets a serial killer's knotty pine hide-away. I loved the ingenious way they "updated" the bathroom, in 1972 or so, by building a formica counter top around the wall sink. And what a touch of class the truckstop style soap dispenser adds! After dropping off our luggage, it was decided over dinner that we just could not stay there and we began an earnest, and ultimately successful, search for a new place.

The next morning we began our 3 day Yellowstone adventure.

We had dinner at the Lake Lodge. Very, very lovely and delicious. We joked that it looked like something out of 'The Shining'. When Don asked where the bathroom was, I told him to look for the creepy twins at the end of the hall.

On to Montana, Pictograph Cave State Park. These ancient cave drawings reminded me of the trendy "Ugly Dolls" that are so popular now. Fantastic images!

I LOVED the terrain of the pictograph caves, the quiet with meadowlarks and crickets providing the soundtrack for viewing the grand arches and
primitive artwork.

The Hampton Inns are our favorite places to stay, always nice, with the required free breakfast. But there were other little hotels, that were nice with a friendly, homey feeling, especially one in Cody. Their clean rooms and colorful hanging flower baskets and pots surrounding cute bistro sets showed the owners took a lot of pride in their place.
We saw so much, I won't bore you with more pictures, but Devil's Tower, Rushmore, Little Bighorn, Crazy Horse..the Black Hills are all so gorgeous. There is just soo much to see and so many pictures to take. If you haven't been to Yellowstone and East to S. Dakota, go!
I want to go again, someday!
Should we make it a girl's road trip!

2000+ Visitors, yeah!

2010-06-17T18:50:00.005-06:00

Yippee! Woohoo!
Since I added the nifty Statcounter, I have been waiting and watching for the 2000th visitor to my blog and today, when I logged in, I was at 2011!!
2011 visitors since I added the gizmo sometime in the Spring.
2011 visitors and about 65 comments.
hmmm, I'm no mathematician, but my Windows calculator tells me that's only a 3% comment rate.
Guess your just a reserved bunch.
Or my posts are too boring to elicit a response - "oh geez! Not another boring anecdote about Cathy's so-called life."
Or most of you land on my blog accidentally - "Dang, I was tryin' to find out about the care and feedin' of my doggone acanthus plant and I end up on some gal's diary!"
Or you're offended by my political opinions - " That woman is a liberal nutcase whose ideas are not worth the time taken to write a comment!"
Or,
You're just a reserved bunch!
Anyway, thanks to all for stopping by, accidentally or not.

A Trip to see the Folks

2010-06-12T13:57:00.011-06:00

I left this morning to visit my mom and dad in Hurricane. After forgetting my phone and having to turn back, and then spilling a drink down my "fresh from the cleaners" jacket, I was on the road!
I love solo road trips.
With the temperature set just as I like it and the radio tuned to Saturday morning NPR, I drove as fast as I wanted with Peter Sagal and Carl Kassel, Tom and Ray and Ira Glass as my traveling companions. They kept me quite entertained, never telling me to "watch my speed", "turn up the air" or "watch out for that truck".
All of the rain that we have had lately has provided a verdant, green, beautiful landscape! Black cattle and white sheep dotted the fields, while low hanging clouds skimmed the foothills. It was such a treat to watch the landscape, looking even more lovely than usual, roll by as I drove.
The red rocks came into view as I traveled further south. Fluffy, white clouds floated on flat bottoms, like meringues in a bright blue soup. It was such a pretty sight! The mesas were bright apricot and plum and the temperature, which had been in the fifties, rose to the seventies. I opened the sun roof, just reveling in the moment.
After visiting with my folks for a while, they had visitors come over and I excused myself and decided to blog about my lovely drive. Thunder boomed, lightening flashed and it began hailing, big penny sized hail!
Wow, it was really coming down in a deluge! I love a crazy storm and I watched out the window as it came down, noticing my car parked out front...
the Sun Roof!!!
The next day, I took my mom into St. George for her chemo. It was nice to be with her as she got her blood work and picc line readied. I dropped her off for the actual hour and a half of chemo and ran some errands, including a trip to one of my favorite stores Urban Renewal where I bought some wonderful old linens...now to get the stains out!
Mom comes out of her treatments feeling pretty good, the effects of the poison coursing through her veins isn't felt for a couple of days, then it kicks in and she feels a "little" sick and a "lot" tired. Her white hair is still hanging on and is as beautiful as ever. After her treatment, we went to Olive Garden for soup and salad. It tasted so good to her as she had not been able to eat fresh fruits or veggies since last treatment because of her low white cell count. Poor mom, she loves fresh food and was really tiring of canned goods, so it was a real treat to have some salad at last! The treat for me was just being at lunch with my mom!
On my way home, I thought how grateful I am to be able to make these visits. I often think of all the circumstances that allow me to do so and I am thankful: Thankful for my car, my job that provides money and the summer off to visit more often, my health, our proximity to each other, still having my wonderful parents and a hundred other things!
I'm very lucky or blessed, however you prefer to think of it, I am grateful!

Paris, P.F.Chang's and pretty niece, Kelly

2010-06-07T17:35:00.015-06:00

My niece recently left for a few weeks in Paris.
I know, I know... life is hard all over!
I really am happy for her, and actually feel like I am visiting Paris,vicariously through her!

We had a Bon Voyage party for her. Kelly, her mom Cheryl, my daughter Shan and I, went to P.F. Changs for dinner the week before she left. It's one of our favorite places to eat too much, laugh and talk too loudly, and have way too good a time.

Had you been sitting at the next table, here are some of the gems you may have overheard.

Cheryl- "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and take off my bra...does anyone have a big purse?"

All- "Europe, You're up, You're up..". (guess you had to be there)

Darling Second grade teacher/waitress- "Would you like to order some dessert?"
All- "of course!"
Me- "We could share the chocolate cake!"
Cheryl- "ALL of us?! We'll look like lions at the kill!"

Kelly, a dessert lover, bemoaned the demise of Mimi's chocolate pecan pie-
"When I heard they weren't making it any more I bought three pieces. I ate two and..."
I interjected - "then she varnished the last piece to worship at her dessert altar."

The waitress, who cracked-up everytime she came to the table, brought us our chocolate cake, along a free piece of cheesecake! She delivered the bill, laden with fortune cookies. The bill and cookies rested on a black paper decorated with Chinese calligraphy.
I said to no one in particular, "I wonder what this says?"
The waitress answered in a Chinese accent, "you owe me for the cheesecake." She got a good tip!

It was a fun night! Keep the travelogues coming, Kelly!

Cute Baby EMail Making the Rounds

2010-05-26T21:21:00.013-06:00

I'll bet most of you have seen it.

It's a very popular item showing up in everyone's in-box,
darling newborn pictures,
accompanied with captions that describe
the trials and joys of Motherhood.

It's very touching.

Except, I'm not in a "touching", motherly mood right now.

I'm feeling tired and sarcastic.

So, here's my take on the photos.

Mom was a princess who did more than kiss the frog.

THE EXPLOITATION OF CONJOINED TWINS IS DESPICABLE.

Winston Churchill at 4 weeks.

Hope this is a boy, or they are going to have to pay for one hell of a lot of laser hair removal!

RARE PHOTO OF THE INFANT, MR. PEANUT.

Oh, I saw a story about this girl on the Discovery Channel, it's amazing what she has accomplished without her lower body!

YOU KNOW THESE TWO WILL GROW UP TO BE DOPER, SNOWBOARDERS.

The Definition of Irony

2010-05-19T17:22:00.004-06:00

As some of you know, we are adding an addition to our home.
Everyday, I walk in the door wondering what scene of destruction, or construction, will assail me. Today I was met with this.

The entire inside, west wall was gone, replaced by a filmy curtain of visqueen. From behind this translucent barrier came the pound of hammers and the pounding voice of Glen Beck, reading aloud the Arizona Immigration Bill, word - for - word.

Oh, that and the conversation of construction workers.

"Creo que debería ser un poco más bajo"

Isn't it ironic.

A little cheese with my whine, please?

2010-05-10T20:55:00.004-06:00

This may be the week,
that I learn the fate of my job.
Depends on budgets.

I was given a
"thanks but no thanks"
concerning a job
I applied for,
felt very qualified for,
was assured I would get by EVERYONE ,
let myself think I had a chance,
read the "thanks, but no thanks"... twice
then felt like a dum dum

what now.

To add to it, I am doing something I SWORE
I WOULD NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER do again.
We are in the middle of an addition to our home. I said, NEVER again and here I am.

Can we say
stress, lack of communication skills, dollars flying from our pockets, yard a mess
I know people live and function with horrible situations that are many times more stressful than mine
but I just can't take it (don't want to deal with it)
I don't have good coping skills
I just want to take drugs (that I don't have) and go to bed and sleep through it.
To escape
Wake me when it's over, please.
Just leave my new job description on the mantle in the newly completed family room.

Arizona Immigration Law

2010-04-26T19:54:00.011-06:00

What to write? I must write something, I feel a responsibility to my vast readership. (snicker, snicker)
My blog looks at me with reproachment. Actually, I just heard that pronounced on the radio as reh prozh mon. Ooh, I like that!
Like a sad puppy, the blog says, "Play with me, pay me attention, or I will have to look at you with reh prozh mon! Apparently, eet ees a leetle French Poodle poopy!

On Arizona's Immigration Bill:
While listening to NPR today, Neal Conan asked reporter Peter O'Dowd the question, "has there been any suggestions as to how police are supposed to recognize an illegal immigrant?"

HERE'S THE GOOD PART!

Honest to Goodness, he answered, "Let's say you are pulled over for a speeding ticket, just having brown skin, that wouldn't warrant your showing proof of citizenship(whatever that might be)
BUT
if you're pulled over for a speeding ticket and you're in a car with 5 other brown skinned people, near the border, and there are OTHER circumstances involved, then it would be okay to ask for *proof of citizenship."

OKAY, here's what I want to know.
What exactly might these OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES be...?
Perhaps Norteño music playing? A Virgin of Guadalupe on the dash? Maybe on their way to a landscaping or slaughterhouse job?

COME ON PEOPLE! How can it not lead to profiling?

comments? Let the reh prozh mon begin.

Sewing My Way Through the Seventies

2010-04-12T19:47:00.024-06:00

I started sewing in the 7th grade when I took a sewing class in Jr. High. I remember my first attempt was a simple, straight, sleeveless sheath with an assortment of removable, interchangeable collars. I chose a pink flowered cotton for the dress and a white pique' for the collar. It turned out great and I was on my way!

Once I was in High School, I was sewing regularly and much of my wardrobe, save plaid, wool skirts and angora sweaters, was homemade. That was back in the day of girls being required to wear dresses to school. I wore dresses that were, of course being the 70's, quite short, until the later 70's when a longer skirt caqme into style. Panty hose, chunky, high heeled shoes, platform sandals or boots completed the outfits. Well, those and Indian silver and turquoise jewlery, hoop earrings and pieces from 1928 jewelry. My best friends also sewed, none of us ever took a homemaking class in high school, it was more a crafty, artistic thing.

My favorite patterns were Butterick. they carried my favorite designers Jane Tise and Betsey Johnson. Can you believe Betsey Johnson, with her platinum-blond, chunky pageboy is still going strong today, doing cartwheels on the catwalk at the end of her couture shows!

When I came across these images, they transported me straight to the occasions and settings
in which I wore them! It was a very powerful thing, a time machine. Lots of wonderful memories!

This jumper was a favorite I made the year

I interned 3rd grade, 1978.
Wearing it, I felt every bit a teacher!

I sewed
this up for
Diana Hicken's
wedding at the Wayfarer's
Chapel in Palos Verde, Calif. It was GORGEOUS and sexy and
looked very much like the short
version on the left.

Navy calico with red flowers, reversible navy corduroy/red calico vest.
Gosh, I still love that look! I wore tall, high-heeled boots with it. I loved the weight of the yards of fabric in the skirt. Back in the day, I was thin and could pull-off these styles.

I must thank my mom for being a seamstress, sewing me many a Halloween costume, summer outfit and a beautifully detailed yellow floral, halter style prom dress, with short yellow satin bolero jacket, that still hangs in my closet today. It's a beautiful example of
everything I love about 1970's fashion.

"Thank you, India"

2010-04-08T19:03:00.013-06:00

A Popular Blogger recently got hair extensions.
Posting about the experience she said, "Thank you, India". I'm assuming she is not thanking a stylist named India, but rather referring to the origin of the extensions.
I have never been a fan of hair extensions. I think they are a conspicuous expression of vanity. If you want long hair, grow it out! That is, unless you are a starlet or a supermodel or a rock-star. In her defense, Popular Blogger is an accident victim with resultant hair issues.
"Thank you, India" got me thinking about the hair industry. Where do all of those hairs, millions and billions of strands, come from? Whose head did that hair, now weaved and glued to your head, once live on ?

Every day, tens of thousands of Hindus make religious pilgrimages to temples.

There they pray and give thanks for their blessings. Desiring to demonstrate their devotion, they make a sacrifice to the goodness of their Gods. Many have no money to offer the gods; the most valuable thing they can give is their hair or the hair of their children.

At the temples, barbers are lined up 24 hours a day, wetting their razors and shaving the heads of visiting pilgrims.

With the popularity of hair extensions in the Western world, temples found they could sell the sacrificed hair to middle men in the hair extension industry for $200 to $300 a kilogram.

After sale, the hair is washed, brushed and combed by hand at a factory in Bangalore, before being shipped to factories where the color is removed and it is dyed a range of fashion colors. Now its value has jumped to $500 a kilogram, approximately 2.2 lbs. It is then sent to hair salons in more than 50 countries across the Western world, where women pay as much as $4,000 dollars for a longer, thicker, sexier head of hair.

The Indian women are able to make a sacrifice to their Gods, the temples make money, which they claim they use to support pilgrims and community programs, and the hair industry in the West has a new product to work with and make customers happy.

Why does this whole process bother me?

While the pilgrims might not feel exploited, there's no question that their hair is now a valuable commodity, and the hair extension industry is making some people very rich.

To me, it's like someone hanging out by the sacrificial altar, taking the remains and then selling fresh, lamb gyros.

Poor women in many areas, such as Burma, Spain, Eastern Europe and even the U.S., are selling their hair. The operative word being SELLING. The Indian women seem to me, to be exploited.

Read the highlighted links and tell me: What do YOU think?

I welcome all opinions!

People Think I'm Nice...But, often, I am not.

2010-04-02T21:58:00.012-06:00

I know I'm a few weeks late on this one but does anyone remember what Gaborey Sidibe wore to the Oscars? Stacy and Clinton where were you when she needed you!?

As a "big girl" myself, I was horrified by that dress! There were so many things wrong with it. They got a couple of things right, but for the most part, sooo wrong.
I'll give you the good news first:
The gathered fabric in front nicely hides the tummy and the diagonal line across the bodice is always flattering.
The bad news is:
The dress is too long! Whomever she paid to make it for her should have had her wear the shoes to be worn the night of the event to ensure the length was right! 4 inches of fabric puddled at your feet does not elongate your look.
I'm sorry, but when you have big ol' arms like that, please cover them with a sleeve. I know where-of I speak! My upper arms haven't seen the light of day for some time now! It would have looked so much more flattering with a sleeve, even just to the elbow.
"Off the shoulder" needs pronounced shoulders to look good. Bring the sleeve up over the crest of her shoulders for a wide sweetheart neckline and drop the neckline a little.
That lace looked like something you'd pick up at Michaels. That aside, take off the piece under her left boob and the one near it running horizontally. Line them up with the others sweeping diagonally across the dress and lower the large lace motif on the right a little lower on the hip.
It's true! Black is slenderizing! Wear black!

These sleeves are great! I think she was a little thinner here, but the lower neckline and sleeves make all the difference.
Forgive my horrible photoshop skills, or lack there of, but I think this is much nicer! Picture it in black.

AND.... Wardrobe malfunction my butt!! Her STRAP broke?? Honey, that "strap" is 5" wide! That is a shoulder seam. What a cheap publicity stunt. She announced she was leaving her T.V. show a few days later...I'm embarassed for her .

You are a Sentence

2010-03-28T22:41:00.001-06:00

Two questions that can change your life from Daniel Pink on Vimeo.

I like this a lot.

What is my sentence?

How has my sentence changed, as my role has changed, over the years?

Interesting stuff!

Standing by My Man

2010-03-24T10:33:00.017-06:00

Of the two couples, my husband and I are definitely more Carville-Mattlin than Ronnie and Nancy. We are at opposite ends of the political spectrum.

For the last decade, my husband has reveled in going to the local caucus meetings and attending the state and county Republican conventions as a delegate. I would also attend the Republican caucuses because I am registered a Republican.
When I was 18 and it was time to register and formally declare my political affiliation, I chose the path of my Republican mom and dad, even though I was pretty liberal, getting into terrible arguments with my dad over the dinner table. Civil Rights, the Vietnam war, bra burning and other topics put us at odds. But I always felt free and unafraid to give my opinion, just couldn't be independent enough to register my true values.
Somewhere along the way, I lost that courage and as I lost my voice the political sides became more and more polarized. I stayed quiet. With the advent of conservative talk- radio, Don grew more vocal as he listened to Rush, Michael, Gordon, Shawn and all the rest of them, railing non-stop over the car radio. Their diatribes were on, full blast, whenever we were together in the car and over time, instead of converting me, it brought out my deep seated liberal sentiments.

So the other night, Don asked me if I would come to the caucus meeting to vote for him.

I thought of all the political wives, who stand on the podium, as their husbands take oaths. How many of them are actually simpatico with their husbands politic stands? How many of them are just up there, supporting their husband in his career, much as another wife might iron her husbands shirts or attend the office party.
I answered, "I don't even agree with the party platform and I certainly don't want to enter the pit on the night they announce the Health Care victory. No."

"But I need your vote! Come on, won't you come to vote for me?"

Thus began my dilemma. How far should a wife go to stand by her man?
The caucus and winning the delegate's seat is something very important to Don. Your spouse should be able to count on you to support them is such pursuits, right? Even when the stands being promoted go against your core?

I went. I voted for Don and I vowed to change my Voter Registration to Democrat.

Spring!

2010-03-19T17:05:00.008-06:00

I've got to get out this weekend and try to find some lambies! The sight of their little, knobby legs and wagging tails says Spring to me, even if the weather does not! When we first moved here, there were lots of lambs, but now they are not so easy to find.
Houses- yes, lambies-no.
Thanks to Chickens in the Road for sharing her babies with us!
Update
Went to a couple of places known to have baby lambies, but there were no itty-bitties. There were young lambs, but they had already lost their knobby knee-d look. Next year I will remember to start looking March 1st!

Stripes

2010-03-18T21:46:00.004-06:00

Only a very thin, young donkey can pull off these striped leggings.
Please Donkeys, don't try this look if you're over 30!
You'll only embarrass yourself and make others snigger.

I'll Keep You Posted...

2010-03-16T22:31:00.004-06:00

For some time now, the winds of change have been blowing around my school.

Tonight they blew straight up the skirt of myself and 28 other District Literacy Facilitators. We got our pink slips, well...half a pink slip. We will be asked to work at two schools AND also facilitate Math instruction, which will require a Math endorsement. Presently, approximately 10% of us have math endorsements, myself not included.

I have felt this, or something like it, coming for some time but hoped I would somehow be spared the ruination. I still may be, depending on what happens with our school budget, the direction of our new principal and the vision the new district has for us. I still may be able to stay, in some position, at my good ol' school. But that position remains to be seen.

I recently heard about a different job that was hiring. "That would be fun, if I weren't already a teacher" I thought. But today I had two very strong impressions that I should apply. Is it because I am to take a new career path! Is it because it is something constructive to do instead of worrying! Is it because I needed some typing practice! I don't know. I guess we'll see.

It was a little exercise in esteem building. As I wrote of my responsibilities in my job, talents that I have developed and used, and enjoyment of my work, I felt pretty good. It has been a wonderful 8 years, some of the best of my life. I met my best friends there, whom I love and admire and look to for validation, council and laughs!
I am trying not to be too hasty in coming to any sad conclusions about what might happen. I hope it will all work out like I want. I know it will all work out in the end. I'll keep you posted.

Three Boring Things and One: "Oh my gosh, did I just do that!?" Thing.

2010-03-02T22:50:00.011-07:00

1. I am sorry for the boring post but my mind is empty. It's been a stressful week at work with interviews and reports and job insecurity worries. I am enjoying a boring day off, enjoying the quiet house, the sound of laundry, the little birds chirping on the snowy deck. The snow has finally stopped falling, we've got about 6". Snow is a great insulator, it really quiets things down.
2. Lee Dewyze and Andrew Garcia: for my money they are the only two guys worth watching. Andrew's coat was way too small, painfully tight in the sleeves and across the back, but I love his funky glasses and style. Yes, he was a "little pitchy", but he's so refreshing! Lee sounded like Daughtrey, and every other A.I. rocker, but he's cute. I like his casual style and his "sensitive bad boy looks". Yeah, that's my description. I'm going to tag that s.b.b. from here on out. So the next time you hear me say, "look at that guy, he's soo s.b.b, you'll know what I mean and, friends, you know how very often that subject comes up in our usual conversations! haha (Notice the semi-colon, colon thingy in my first sentence. I know I have almost certainly used it incorrectly. Semi-colon, colon thingys and who/whom, perplex me.)
3. Watched Zombieland last night and I liked it! It was funny, silly, gross. It took me a while to recognize Abigail (Signs)Breslin and I love Jesse Eisenberg, once described as a hot nerd in Rolling Stone. He has such a beautiful, expressive face. Woody Harrilson is usually such an odd-ball. I want to see him in The Messenger before the Oscars... that means I have to see it tomorrow. Is it still in theaters?
Okay! Now for the "OMG" thing...
I was on my way to a meeting in the middle of the school day. For those of you who work, you know there's a guilty pleasure being away from your desk, outside of your building, driving in your car, in the middle of the day. Yes, it's an excused absence, but for me; I always feel a little bit like I'm getting away with something!
So, I'm tooling along and have to stop at a red light and I'm thinking to myself, "it's so nice not to be in a hurry." I had left earlier than usual because the past two times I have been to this meeting, there haven't been any seats left. I start down the road again and the lights start to flash at the TRAX crossing. I was just going fast enough that I had to decide whether to speed up and race through or come to a pretty quick stop. The truck next to me hit the gas and I thought I had better stop, as a law abiding citizen.
Ding,ding,ding,ding, ding! The rail-crossing arm starts coming down. Its movement catches my eye to the left and I realize it is about to come down right on my car! What am I supposed to do! The arm continues to come down! I have to make a split second decision and I step on the gas and fly over the tracks! Oh my gosh!
It seems like it is happening in slow motion, even though I am going fast! I can see the drivers facing me, one woman's eyes wide with disbelief, her hand to her mouth. The guy in the big, white truck behind her is shaking his head, sneering. I know that the prevailing opinion must be "WHAT was she thinking! I am so embarrassed and, although I was never in any danger of being hit by a TRAX train, a little shaken.
The TRAX arms lift back up. Since I am making sure that I drive under the speed limit, so as not to appear that I sped under the arms because I was in a hurry, the cars that were with me at the stop are catching up. I cannot "face" those people! I hurry and turn into the nearest neighborhood to avoid them and wind my way through the streets until I find my way to my meeting and THAT is my OMG story!
But there is more!!
While at the meeting, I won a 25.00 gift card!

“I hate the word housewife; I don't like the word home-maker either. I want to be called Domestic Goddess.”

2010-02-23T19:27:00.003-07:00

I'm going to get something off my chest and I will probably not be too popular with some of you once I am finished.
My church really pushes for mothers to be at home, no higher calling than mother, heart of the home, etc...I think that is a worthy endeavor, being at home. I was home for 17 years raising 4 children.
I was a homemaker. I mean, I made a home, working every day at that task. I gardened and canned. I got up with my children, fixed them breakfast, made lunches, made sure they were at school on time, fixed them a snack when they got home. I cooked delicious, nutritious and balanced meals. I made bread and baked cookies. I washed and ironed my husbands shirts. I kept a clean and tidy house. I sewed and painted and built. I took a real sense of pride in MY JOB. This was my JOB. My husband went to his job and this was MY job.
Lately, I am bewildered by the posts I am reading in blogs and on Facebook, posts written by stay at home moms and not just one or two. Posts detailing their days, the hours spent on facebook, the lunch dates, the naps, the mess, the dinners out, the showers at 3:00pm,the dozing for a couple of hours on the couch while the kiddos watch Dora, blah, blah , blah. "Can't wait til hubby comes home from work and asks me what I've done all day! hehe".
Everyone chimes in, echoing the same habits, unashamed.
Have you no pride? Don't you feel the least bit responsible to do your most at home while your husband is out working, at a job he may not love, to provide for you and your family?
Or is it you are depressed? I don't get it!
I guess I am just old school, but get out of bed before your kids and shower and get dressed.
Turn off the TV, get away from the computer for a while and do something constructive.
Have some pride in being a homemaker.

Smorgasborg

2010-02-16T20:51:00.010-07:00

The Bible Salesman I read a good book. Not the best book, but a good book.

Am I the only one who is getting a little tired of overly styled wedding photos? Everything I see lately looks like an Anthropology spread.

I was at school... naked, working in the

library, trying to fix something for a

a crowd of teachers. Just as I saved the
day, I made a jiggly move and they
all noticed...my nakedness. In my dream I think,

"Damn, Cathy! Why do you keep forgetting to dress!!", because I've has soo many of these dreams lately! They are not just set in school, oh no, I'm all over town! It used to be "caught in my undies" dreams, but I've graduated to naked.I know the meaning of these dreams and they are pretty right-on.

American Idol was way too long for my taste tonight, reminded me of why I had forgotten my previous love affair with the show. If they get rid of Andrew Garcia, I won't watch any more.

A Love Affair Re-kindled

2010-02-09T21:54:00.007-07:00

We met every Winter for several years.
It was always a good time. You were very entertaining, always good for a laugh, although I sometimes felt bad that our laughter was at the expense of others...well, not that bad!
You were a distraction from the cold, dark nights and I must say, there were times when I just could not wait to see you again!
Then, I just lost interest. Our relationship had staled...
Until tonight.
When I saw you again and I liked what I saw!
Once again, you will be my Tuesday night date!
American Idol, I'm back!

There are some great finalists this year!

LOVE Andrew Garcia! His take on "Straight Up" was so fresh and love that John Legend-esque voice!

Janell Wheeler's "American Boy" a song I love), very creative! She made it her own, so different from Estelle's!

Lilly Scott, also unique, great voice.

I like the more unique contestants. Not really impressed with the Colbie Caillat wanna be.
I thought Ellen made for a nice balance. I really like her!
So, those are my three favorites. Who do you like?

Little Things Mean a Lot

2010-02-09T19:22:00.009-07:00

Give me a hand when I've lost the way

Give me your shoulder to cry on...

(give me some candy or just a kind word)

Little things mean a lot
Lindeman-Stutz 1953
(Words added by me)

So many little sussies today!
Claire, for the sweet surprise in the mail
Gail, for the note on my desk
Sherri, for the compliment
Teachers, for humor in the face of maddening demands
Thank You! Little things truly mean a lot!
It takes so little to brighten someone's day. I'm going to try to do so, more often, myself !

Johnny Depp sexiest man??

2010-02-06T11:44:00.003-07:00

Before writing this post I had to ask myself,
"If my husband wrote a post about the sexiest woman on Earth, would I be bothered"?
If he included someone we knew, yes,
but people, we are talking stars, celebrities, People Magazine.
So don't hate me because I think they're beautiful.
I need a light-hearted, silly topic so here goes...

Very cute, but sexiest man??

Not for me.
I have eclectic taste, in all things, even men,
and I know some of my choices will make you go, "eeewwww"
but I don't care.

Manly, manly, manly

Wildly talented and a certain sardonic wit, and that voice!

ahhh, D'hani Jones
This Bengal designs his own line of bow ties, writes poetry,
a renaissance man

Mike Rowe
mmm, mmm mmm

I won't go on,
but I want to know,
who is on your list?

2010-01-23T00:20:00.003-07:00

Where is Rechelle? She writes over at My Sister's Farmhouse blog and hasn't posted since the 26th of Dec. The "miss you, where are you" comments started about the 7th of January and continue. That's only a month, but she has followers that look for her everyday, including me.

It's funny, the quasi- friendship we develop with the bloggers we love. The feelings of connection have taken me so far as to meet one of my favorite bloggers, just sayin', for lunch and it was as if we had known each other a long time.
I wrote to Liberty Post, one of my favorite Canadians, to ask her for her honest experience with Canadian healthcare and she graciously replied. E-mailed another to say I missed her posts. She wrote back that she was taking a break, so far, a year long break. I finally took her off my list, like an old college friend you've lost touch with. Buttonwillow Cottage, Jollie Primatives and the blog of some old guy up in Alaska, I'm sorry they're gone.

I believe the Lincoln quote on my header, about the world's indifference to what I write, but at the same time I feel that in my world, my little sphere of influence, my words mean something. Our words mean something because they reveal who we are. That's why reading each other's words makes relationships, friendships if you will.

My closest real-life friends/bloggers would know why, if I suddenly stopped blogging. If I stopped writing, I would hope that the rest of my many, many (total 16 hehe) followers would wonder where I went and maybe comment asking "where are you?" . But maybe not. Maybe I'm the only sentimental blogger out there that thinks of the bloggers I follow as friends?

Check the box if you have any family history of...

2010-01-17T23:33:00.006-07:00

It seems that with every year there is another box to check. With every mammogram I could answer with relief, no family history of Breast Cancer, that is until right after Christmas.
My mom mentioned, a couple of weeks before Christmas, that she was going in for her yearly mammogram. I blithely replied that she was brave.
"I would never go in for anything right before the Holidays!"
Why?" she asked.
"They might find something and I wouldn't want to ruin Christmas!"
She just laughed at me. "Oh, Cathy!"

Since we wouldn't be together for Christmas, I sent her some flowers the week before. She called to thank me for them.
"Did you get my email? she asked, thinking her email had caused me to send the flowers.
I told her I had been so busy at school that I hadn't checked it for a couple of days, that the flowers were "just because I love you!"
"They got my mammogram results back. I have to have a biopsy."

I went down to Mom and Dad's with my daughter the Monday after Christmas and was there on Tuesday when the phone call came. My dad was in the den watching a football game. She took the call in their bedroom and I stood at the door and listened to her side of the conversation and I knew.
When she came out to the dining room, where my dad and I were clearing the table, she simply said "I have breast cancer". My dad literally reeled, dropped the plate in his hand to the floor and braced himself with both hands on the table. His stricken look was a hard for me to see. I held it together.

An appointment with the Surgeon was made. An appointment for surgery was made. Many reassurances were made. Surgery was the twelfth. We had a huge school wide test on the eleventh, that I had to be there for. My sister and I left our families, after school, to make the 3 1/2 hour drive down to our folks. A constant stream of conversation about our faith, family and fears, seasoned with our tears, filled those 3 1/2 hours.

The next morning, what should have been a one to two hour surgery turned into more than 3 hours and I knew. We waited with the others, on long rows of chairs that ran parallel to the Consultation Rooms. All, but one man, got their reports from a victorious doctor as he stood in front of, or sat beside, them to tell of a good outcome. Our surgeon called us into the small Consultation Room where he proceeded to relay his findings of a small tumor in the first Lymph node they checked. A lumpectomy and removal of the Lymph nodes were performed. He sat like Abraham Lincoln at the memorial in Washington DC: His hands rested on the wooden armrests of his chair. His head was bent slightly, eyes focused on the floor. He was somber and seemed tired. I could feel his disappointment for us. He told me and my sister how much he thought of our Mom and Dad, what good people they were. When we left the small room, all eyes were on us, like drivers slowing down to look at the wreck. I don't know how, but we held it together.

My mom was shocked by the amount of time that had passed when she finally "woke up". Dad told her what they had found, but she was still dopey from the anesthesia and really didn't get it. She told me that the next day, after she talked with the Doctor, it hit her and she "just sat in her bed and bawled". Her nurse, Ivo, found her in tears and talked to her. He was just a young guy, but his words brought her comfort and, as she said, "I just figure there's no use crying about it". She has a strong faith. It's in the Lord's hands and he will be her strength and comfort.

She is recovering remarkably well, so well in fact, that it is hard to realize that it wasn't "just a surgery." We're waiting for the next report and treatment options. Suffering from a blood disease that requires regular phlebotomy, blood thinners and special diet, she is already treated by an oncologist who will decide what to do next. In the meantime, I am holding it together.

Christmas Party Hor d'ovueres for dinner!

2010-01-08T21:13:00.003-07:00

Yes, in the Cann family only the finest of organic, low sodium, fat free, health food is served!

Lets see:
Little weenies in a Blanket? check
Grape jelly meatballs? check
Hot Parmesan Spinach Artichoke dip? check
BBQ chicken mini sandwich? check
Cream cheese Roll-ups? check
Water Chestnuts wrapped in Bacon? check
Smoked Oyster and Clams? check
Chips and Dip? check

Hey!! Who brought that Vege-Tray!

2010-01-01T16:16:00.008-07:00

Let me start the New Year by telling all of you how much I love you!

Recess Duty

2009-12-23T20:12:00.004-07:00

I had recess duty today.
It was an unexpected assignment, on a freezing cold day. Luckily, I always have my ratty old "fire-drill coat" hanging from the back of my door because I hadn't worn a coat to school.
I know, I know, "what if you got into a wreck while driving!" As irresponsible as it is, I often don't wear my coat. It's a short dash from the parking lot to the doors of the school, it's warm inside, and a coat is bulky in the car, hot in the store.
I was wearing a sweater along with my extra fluffy, extra long scarf. I figured with the coat, scarf, casual-Friday jeans and a sweater, I could last my half-hour assignment on the snowy playground.`
As I stepped outside, a light snow raced along on a breeze. I was glad my scarf was long enough to tuck the fringed ends into my pockets to snuggle my hands.
I surveyed the play areas, frosted wood chips under the monkey bars, kids persisting in a Winter soccer game, girls whispering and giggling, leaning against the walls of the portable.
Two little guys, kindergartners, approach me.
"Will you put on my gloves?"
"Sure, hold up your hand. Push it in. No, hold out your thumb and spread out your fingers...like this. Push hard, there! Give me your other hand. What's your name?"
"Jesus."
I get his gloves on and off they go but in a couple of minutes they're back.
"Will you put on my gloves again?"
"Okay, give me your hand..." The scene is repeated.
They come back! This time, he takes off his gloves in front of me, reaches up under his coat and hitches up his pants. I realize they are a size too big. He can't hitch up his hand-me-down pants without taking off his snowy gloves! When he's done, he turns to me holding out his gloves and I know what to do without being asked.
His little friend exclaims, "My hands are freezing!" He has them clenched up inside the sleeves of a light coat that is too big for him.
"His mom gave him girl mittens!"
The little boy nods in affirmation.
"How do you know they're girl mittens?" I ask.
"They're purple!"
"Well, boys can wear purple mittens. Let me see."
He pulls out lavender mittens, girl mittens. His little hands are frozen.
"You know what, it doesn't matter what color they are! They keep your hands nice and warm. If anyone says anything you just tell them you don't care what color they are, you want to be warm! Give me your hand, hold your fingers like this..." Soon the mittens are on.
"Here, let's zip up your coat."
"The zipper's broken."
I feel like crying when I advise him to hold the two sides closed by crossing his arms.
They go off to my side to play "pick up big chunks of snow and drop them on the ground". I hear them giggling and turn to see one holding a chunk of snow that looks, remarkably, like a breast prosthesis, up to the chest of the other.
"Chi chi" he says with a naughty giggle. The other looks down and snickers, "yea, chi chi."
"Boys, that's not nice" I say as I shake my head. They sheepishly giggle. The bell rings and they run to line up, only after Jesus has taken off his gloves to hold up his pants.

Creepy Santa

2009-12-16T20:51:00.013-07:00

Sometime in the early 1960's, the era of shiny aluminum Christmas trees, plastic reindeer and the first Charlie Brown Christmas, my grandma Alba bought us a Santa. Standing about two feet tall, it wore a plush polyester Santa suit with little black plastic boots. His face was also plastic, plastic that had been molded into features that were decidedly not Santa-like. He didn't look like the Santas we were used to, Santas like the Coke-Cola Santa, Norman Rockwell Santa or the Santa in the movies. No, this Santa looked more like a happily demented, half-Asian, leprechaun who somehow had stolen a Santa suit.
Over the years, once we realized he was harmless, we came to appreciate him. He was our creepy Santa. He was a conversation piece. No one else had one like it, that we knew of.

Just a couple of years ago, while looking at a web site about abandoned places, I found another creepy Santa! This was Creepier Santa! His little hands, seemingly ready to strangle you in your sleep, his unfocused icey blue eyes, ghaaaaa!This got my daughter Shan and I thinking, "there are other Creepy Santas out there!" She knew she had to have one of her own. One that would terrorize her own sweet, children some Christmas in the future. The first photo of "cute, Creepy Santa" is actually one that she bought on ebay a couple of years ago.

THEN..I saw THIS Santa!!

It is Creepy Santa incarnate!
How could anyone hand their baby over to such a monster?

THEN, I SAW THIS ONE!
He doesn't look like our Creepy Santa...

but he's creepy, baby!
Oh... he's creepy.

Check out www.sketchysantas.com

CATZILLA!!

2009-12-15T21:48:00.008-07:00

Oh, no!! Run to the bell tower! Alert the villagers!

Catzilla is among us!!!

Screams of terror float on the air above the Dicken's Village. The tiny villagers are frozen with fear as Catzilla steps carefully past the Tutbury Printer and Faversham Lamps to peer inside the Ole Curiosity Shop!

Innocent school children, anxiously huddled together, are witness to the carnage!
Only the pitiable, village idiot continues to sled blithely, calling "Heeer Kiiittteee, Kiitttttteee!"

Beans has suddenly developed an interest in the snow village! She loves the perpetual skaters in the other village, often perching on the nearby chair arm, her head following them as they skate in their never-ending circle. Every now and then she, very gently, reaches out a paw and knocks one of the figures over. Now she is on the prowl for more of the little villagers to playfully paw. She just can't figure out why, in this village, nobody moves... aside from the fact that they are frozen in fear!

Duggar's Greet Baby #19

2009-12-11T20:32:00.004-07:00

I'm surprised by how little the media has responded to the delivery of the Duggar's 19th baby.
I'm surprised the Duggars themselves haven't been wringing every little drop of publicity they can out of this birth, as they have their other blessed events.
Forty-two year old Michelle Duggar delivered her 19th baby by emergency c-section yesterday. The baby girl, due March 18th, weighed only 1 lb. 6 oz.
I am sad for the family and especially for mom Michelle, but this is the reality of a forty-two year old woman who has already had 18 children. The incidence of birth defects and birth difficulties and even maternal death increase with every year past 35.
When the family announced the pregnancy, it was all "happy, happy, joy, joy!" You were quickly reminded of their other 18 upstanding, good-looking, moral, industrious, cheerful and intelligent children if you dared bring up her age or the toll on her body. You were a party-pooper or worse, anti-family!
As long as the outcome is happy lucky pretty, we're all ears, but don't tell us about the outcome that reflects reality.
I hope Michelle is okay and that their poor baby makes it .
I hope she and BillieBob, or whatever his name is, think real hard before a number 20.

Enjoy a little tour of our Christmas world.

2009-12-06T11:37:00.022-07:00

I think we've all established that it's family that makes the holidays bright. But the trimmings at Christmas, for me and mine, are not only powerful links to the past, but stir the very emotions called up in this tender season. A decision not to include an item displayed in previous childhood years, is met with wails of protest, because of the special place it holds in the hearts of family members.
As I peruse decorating blogs and magazines, admiring the beautiful Christmas decor ideas in trendy colors or elegant themes, I realize that my Christmas decorations, not decor, are decidedly distinct.
They reflect, sometimes literally, years of collecting.

Close to half of all the ornaments that hang from the branches of our tree are pre-1960, bought at estate sales and thrift shops. Some were inherited from Grandma. They are all glass, with finishes that have tarnished and flaked over the years, giving them character.

The Dept.56 Village pieces were bought, almost always at After Christmas sales or at store closings or as beloved gifts from Don, whom over the years has come to appreciate the charming collectables almost as much as I do. My children especially love the villages and I have made sure that I have a number divisible by 4, so that when the time comes to divvy them up, each will get an equal amount. I look forward to the day when little grandchildren stand on tippy-toes to peek at Scrooge observing the past in Fezziwig's Ballroom and stare in fascination( as the cats do) as the tiny, porcelain skaters glide in their never-ending circle at the London Skating Club.

Perhaps they will wish they could eat some of the diminutive treats displayed in the windows of Lafayette's Bakery or Mrs. Stover's Bungalow Candies.

By New Year's day, I have "had enough" and am anxious to get it all packed away for another year. But for these next few weeks, it wouldn't be Christmas without the glitter and glow of our beloved trimmings.

Enjoy a little tour of our Christmas world.

A Successful Thanksgiving with the Baker Girls

2009-12-02T21:30:00.006-07:00

The turkey was tender and juicy.
My sister Cheryl's rolls were scrumptious.
The tables looked festive.
And I remembered to buy the pies.

But what made it wonderful was family.

2009-11-21T21:35:00.005-07:00

My mom hosted Thanksgiving dinners, sometimes for 25 or more guests, cooked a perfect 30lb. turkey, baked flakey crusted, famously delicious pumpkin pies from scratch, and hosted 2 out of town daughter's families with grandchildren in-tow, all the while working full-time in a stressful Escrow office. She made it all seem so easy.

About eight years ago, I was to be in charge of Thanksgiving at my house, for the first time. My parents were going to drive up from California, stay with us and enjoy the holiday as guests. My dad, while working on a friend's turkey farm, was showing off for the younger workers and leaped off the back of the loading dock to slide down a pole and broke his ankle. So, he and mom were not able to come up to Utah. Thanksgiving would be just my family and my sister's. Just 11 people, easy enough.
Not being a great pie baker and working part time, I decided to buy my pies at Marie Callendars. I smartly put in my order and planned to pick them up on Wednesday. Don wanted to take everyone to a movie that night, so I struggled to get all of the "do-aheads" prepared for the next day. As we left for the show, I was confident that I had done everything I could to make ready for the upcoming feast.

When the movie ended, we stood to leave and I turned to my sister in a panic!
With eyes that I'm sure looked like they had just seen the ghost of Thanksgivings Past, I gasped, "The pies!"
"What?"
"The Pies! I never picked up the pies!" I hissed at her.
She looked back at me with wide eyes and tried not to giggle,"what are you going to do?"
I didn't want Don to know I had forgotten the pies. I just couldn't tell him. I'd never hear the end of it. So, making some excuse, my sister and I raced up to the restaurant, praying it would still be open and that they would still have my pies. We were among the last people to enter the tent set up in the parking lot for pie pick-up and came home with the essential dessert.

The next day, I tried to remember how my mom did it. I had bucked tradition and tried a new recipe for a corn dish that wasn't a success, and the turkey would not get done! We ate much later than planned after Don's constant harangue of, "Is it done yet? When is it going to be done? I'm starving. When will it be ready? Is it almost done?" At my mom's house we always ate around 3:00 and here it was, already dark when we finally sat down. The meal wasn't bad, but I felt like I had never had control of the situation and it certainly wasn't as good as Grandma's.
Now 8 years later I am, once more, hosting Thanksgiving with my folks as guests. I feel like a newlywed who hasn't had much experience in the kitchen, except for that one disastrous dinner! I am 54 years old, a grown woman! I consider myself a good cook, but I am anxious!
What if the turkey doesn't get done on time? Where will I seat 16 people and what if I forget to go to Costco for the pies!

2009-11-14T09:18:00.019-07:00

A Fond Farewell to Fall

October 2009 -November 2009

Our lovely Fall suddenly ended in the early morning hours. We woke up to snow, catching us unprepared as it fell lightly upon the generous blanket of leaves that covered the lawn and flower beds! Don had hoped it would hold off until he'd had a chance to clean them up, one more time. He is not one to let them pile up, he just needed one more clean-up after getting home from sunny St. George.

The nice thing about the cooler weather is the return of our pretty, yellow finches with their fluffy little bottoms! They love the thistle seed sock, hung just outside our dining room window. Hanging on upside down, side-ways, any way they can, they fight for position, banishing ne'er do wells, pushing and shoving and generally making a mess of the deck. Not at all like the sweet birdies that helped Cinderella with her ribbons or the greeting card blue-birds that hold sentimental banners aloft, they really are little savages!

If you click on the picture you can see the snow flying in the background. By the time I got out to start my usual Saturday "Tour de Grocers", it was really coming down. Every time I got into the car, after having crossed the parking lot and loaded the groceries, I had to shake my head like a dog to get rid of the snowflakes clinging to my hair. And, dang! I was having a good hair day!

Come with us and you will see...

2009-11-02T18:45:00.023-07:00

this is our town of Halloween!!

Monster Eyes

Punkin's, bones and
ghouls, oh my!

LOts o' fun for ALL!!

Another Exciting Friday Night

2009-10-30T22:06:00.004-06:00

Driving to dinner, the sunset over the Oquirrh Mtns was incredible! One of the most amazing sunsets I have ever seen! It appeared giant white-gold flames leaped from the mountain tops, lashing the fuschia streaked grey sky. I didnt have my camera so I have tried to approximate it with the most similiar sunset I could google.

We went to Applebee's. I had chicken-fried steak. I was going for comfort and found it in the chunky mashed potatoes covered with salty milk-gravy.

On the way home, we watched the odometer turn to 19,000 miles. This activity was a lot more fun before odometers were digital. Back when you could actually see the tiny numbers turn. The nine going, going, gone, as zero made its appearance.

We stopped at Costco for gas. A tall, ugly woman with a mass of horribly blond hair filled her tank at the next pump over. Her husband saw me staring and laughed. Then I stared at him and we laughed together. It was a couple on their way to a Halloween party. He was she and she was he.

Just another exciting Friday night.

Monday Meanderings

2009-10-26T20:50:00.013-06:00

The other day, I found mittens on sale for 79 cents a pair. I picked up 10 pair thinking that someone would be doing a "drive" for the homeless shelter this winter and I would be found prepared! But tonight, as I traveled the vast expanse of the internet, surfing on my trusty, red wireless mouse, my typin' hand became characteristically frozen. My thrifty spouse keeps the thermostat at 70, which sounds reasonable during the cold months, but I am always cold! My hand doesn't freeze at work where it is warm! Anyway, my right hand always turns into a popsicle after a while at the keyboard. I thought of my cache of mittens! I took one pair from the bag and, taking the scissors to each fingertip, I came up with a solution! Aside from looking like a cheap Michael Jackson wanna-be, it really does the trick! My hand is warm and toasty!

You already know from an earlier post, that I am afflicted with pare idolia(scroll down) The WIKI articles relates it's not only faces we Pareidoliacs see, it can be just about anything! Today as I drove home alone in the car, I was excited to see a large squirrel sitting on a fallen tree branch.
I squealed with delight to no-one in particular, "OH! A squirrel!" (It doesn't take much to excite me.) I was a bit worried for it, since it was right next to the busy highway! Imagine my disappointment when I realized the "squirrel" was just an extension of the broken branch. Yes my friends, that is the pain of living with Pareidoliasm.

My creatively talented daughter, Shannon, was on television recently and I was so proud of her! She even gave me a shout-out for teaching her the fine art of scavenging for treasures on the road-side! Check out her appearance on "Studio5".

Rush's Rants have Ruinous Ram-ifications

2009-10-14T20:39:00.008-06:00

So, Rush Limbaugh wants to buy a football team...
What's the big deal? The guy loves football.

1. It's been well-documented that transcripts on Limbaugh's own website, in 2007, quote Limbaugh as saying," The NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it."

2. He stated on-air that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was "overrated because the media wanted to see a black quarterback succeed."

3...."all the stuff that happened in New Orleans…whining, where’s FEMA and moaning, where’s BUSH?"

4. "It’s Obama’s America, is it not! Obama’s America, white kids getting beat up on school buses now! You put your kids on a school bus, you expect safety but in Obama’s America the white kids now get beat up with the black kids cheering!"

'
"I feel that given the overall weight of his statements regarding blacks, for him to own a team, even part of it, would be modern slavery." Zennie Abraham

THAT'S the big deal.

Midnight Run

2009-10-07T22:02:00.006-06:00

I had to make a run to the library tonight to pick up some books. I had promised someone I would pick them up to use in her class. Only, I had waited too long and the hold had expired so, I had to drive to several libraries instead of just one.

It was only 7:30 when I set out, but with the night darkening so early now, it seemed like midnight and I found myself surprised by all the traffic, even though I was a part of it.
"Don't these people know it's late? What are all these cars doing on the road this time of night? Yes, I'm out here but you should be at home!"

90.9, the glowing blue numbers illuminated the car's gray seats and my right, denim-clad knee. I was listening to KRCL, our local, independent, listener supported radio station. Just about every town has a station like this one, very liberal leaning, with G.B.L.T. public service announcements, Pacifica Daily News, Democracy Now! and the dates and times of drum circles, Reiki classes and Planned Parenthood hours.
The Wednesday night host, Emily, plays the best music every week. But the only time I listen is when I am alone in the car coming home from a workshop, a meeting or shopping. Yet everytime I listen, I hear something new that I rush home to google or find on Youtube. This time,as drove on in what seemed to me the prematurely blackened night, I heard a theme of sorts.
From Oingo Boingo
"We close our eyes and the world has turned around again
We close our eyes and dream and another year has come and gone"

"I'd like to make myself believe
that planet Earth turns slowly" Owl City

The fact that it was dark night and that I longed to close my eyes and dream, made these songs an especially effective soundtrack for my chore.

Help me add to the "Night Driving soundtrack". Send your suggestions!

How Much is Too Much?

2009-10-04T11:26:00.010-06:00

Having solved the problem of one of the "small whys" mentioned in my previous post, I immediately felt my spirit lighten. It wasn't the solution I'd hoped for, but the weight was off my shoulders, having done everything I could to solve the problem. I know I am being pretty cryptic here, but there are some situations I just don't feel I can just "put out there." Which brings me to my subject: Do I really need to know you had sex in the airport bathroom or How much is too much information?

Shan and I were just talking about the fact that some bloggers could, in our humble opinion, use a little more discretion when sharing their lives with the world, even as we wondered where one gets the chutzpa to be totally transparent. Is it confidence or ignorance? A plea for attention or a devil-may-care honesty? And what about the repercussions of total disclosure? I know people from my work, church and neighborhood read my blog, so I am limited in some of the anecdotes, trials and attitudes I can share. At least that's what I think...maybe I'm just too uptight?

The "bathroom lover" seemed angered and hurt when someone commented negatively on the post. On the other hand, Liberty Post was recently accused of being sanctimonious after commenting on David "Lothario" Letterman's confession. I've always admired her intelligent candor on issues close to her heart and more especially, her tactful replies to her detractors. She's a class act, for lack of a better term. Dooce shares her hate-mail now and then and, while some are pretty funny, they can be very mean and kinda scary. Of course many of these comments are delivered anonymously. My rule is, if I can't put my name to it, I probably I shouldn't say it at all. But how much freedom do we have when we write to, potentially, hundreds of strangers?

A friend of mine has a second undercover blog that covers the entertaining goings-on at her job. Another friend had a "secret" blog that she directed me to after we shared some personal struggles. Sometimes, I wish I had a "nom de plume" blog. Damn! I just gave away the name I wanted to use for it! On it's pages would be all of my unknown follies, my bitchiest opinions, my hidden fears and heartbreaks. But for know, I am trying to keep up with the public blog, working to not worry so much about what people will think when I give my honest opinion, irreverent observation or awkward emotion and if you ever come across a blog called NomdePlume, it's not me...really!

With all of the dreaming going on in blogland, may I suggest this excellent article in Segullah. While it is written from a Mormon perspective, it's not exclusive in its insights!

2009-09-30T21:48:00.003-06:00

It is so hard for me to blog with the start of the new school year.

With Summer comes the uncluttering of my mind. Without the cares and preoccupations of school to fill all of my limited, available, brain space, my thoughts are free to roam and find corners in which to lie down and ruminate creatively.

But especially this time of the early school year, when there is so much to be created, assessed, organized and worried over, my mind is always "on". My brain is always abuzz with ideas, things I need to remember, concerns. It will calm down as the year goes on, as I get into a groove. Yeah, as I get my groove back. "How Cathy Got Her Groove Back" lol! Taye Diggs, calling Taye Diggs!

Actually, I've been a little down in the dumps. In fact, I could just cry right now, as I sit at the keyboard. I don't know why. Well, if I analyze it, it's because of a lot of small "whys". I guess I can be thankful that it's not one giant, awful, "why".

I definitely think I need a good cry. The Horse Whisperer would be good. The Family Man (NOT to be confused with Family Guy) always makes me cry. There's the Green Mile and Meet Joe Black. Most Nora Efron movies...I know, I know, her movies are romantic comedies, but they still make me cry.

I don't want any of the heavy hitters like The Boy in Striped Pajamas or a movie where the Mom is dying. I'm down in the dumps. I don't want to turn it into a full blown depression.

What would you recommend? Movies, not therapists.

I always feel like somebody's watchin' me...

2009-09-21T17:35:00.014-06:00

I see faces...everywhere!

The mean insect face sits on my husband's side of the vanity in the master bath. It stares at me hatefully as I use the toilet!

When I found this plaque for my living room, I loved it! It picked up on other motifs in the room and looked perfect hanging over the window. In fact, shortly after I got it hung on the wall, I sat admiring it. But soon, all my eyes would see was an odd teddy bear face wearing a big crown! I am unable to look at the piece as a whole. Everytime I see it, my eye is drawn to the crowned teddy bear and I do not like crowned teddy bears in my living room!

I do enjoy my little flock of avian garden shears. They are a happy bunch, in spite of their flightless fate.

The electrical outlets...not so happy. They look alarmed at the thought that they may soon be poked in the eye, yet again!

I think I need to introduce the bitter bathroom boom box to the terrifying cyclops that lives on the work bench in the garage!

Watch out! I think he bites!

My friend Gail, just sent me this one. Poor thing! She is the most miserable LadyBug I have ever seen.

If you see any good ones, send them to me!

Facebook Friends...One is Silver and the other Gold

2009-09-16T16:47:00.010-06:00

Okay, so this whole Facebook friends thing...
I just helped my mom get a Facebook account. I was explaining to her how, if you want to be friends with someone, you have to send a friends request.
"You have to ask them if you can be their friend?"
"Well. Yes... sorta. It's just a formality."
She asks a little worriedly, "But, what if they say no!?"
At seventy-five, you don't want to be dealing with school yard rejection.

When I first got on Facebook, EVerybody was my friend! I had tons. Then I realized that I was friends with 11 year old neighbor boys, people I really didn't recognize and some people that, frankly, I had no desire to be friends with. So I culled my list. I immediately felt very guilty and I really did mistakenly get rid of some keepers.
"What if I hurt someone's feelings?"
After I consulted with my kids, they all agreed.
"Never get rid of your friends mom."
"It's a networking thing."
" You want to have friends that you don't know and really don't want to be friends with".
You want to be friends with EVerybody!
So I wrote an apology of sorts, contritely explaining that I had accidentally deleted some people and invited them to come back, and some did.

So far, I have only experienced the humiliating indignity of Facebook rejection once.

Recently, an old school mate, a school mate with whom I was never friends, requested my friendship. By friend, I mean someone I knew, ate lunch with, had sleepovers with, talked to regularly. She was on the edge of my outer circle of friends. But despite all the above, I received a friends request. It came after I had converted back to the EVeryone can be my friend ideology, so I accepted after looking her up in my dusty yearbook.
"Ah yes, I think maybe we had a P.E. class together once." I read her profile.

Married to Ron Seaver. (all names changed to protect...)

"Ron Seaver! She's married to my old high-school sweetheart!"
Of course, like any old flame, I wanted to see how he's held up over the years. I mean, anybody on Facebook can see that I look like what I am, a fat, 54 year old school teacher. So, I wanted to see if he'd fared any better. But no pictures were posted on her page and, wouldn't you know, his is a "friends request only" page.

Now, here was my dilemna, although I really was not interested in being friends with his wife, I wanted to find out about "Ron". He must know I am Facebook friends with his wife. He's on Facebook, right, so he knows I'm on Facebook. But no request to be my friend. So I let it lie. In the meantime, Facebook was sending me little friend suggestions, "you should be friends with"Ron". You have friends in common! Ron is nice, be his friend!" But I, erring on the side of discretion, ignored them.

Then, throwing caution to the wind, I hit the button. I requested to be his friend.
"What the hell, all he can say is no, right?"
I got no reply.
I figure maybe he doesn't get on that often but after a week, I felt like a fool.
I felt like I had been turned down for the Sadie Hawkins dance.
I was embarrassed and, somehow, ashamed. But I got over it swiftly.

So, questions:
Are you taking a risk, asking if you can be someone's friend on Facebook?
Should you just be friends with EVeryone?
Did she only want to be my friend to tell me she married my old boyfriend?
COMMENTS PLEASE!

A Teacher's First Days of School

2009-09-12T20:21:00.011-06:00

I drive, twenty miles per hour, in front of the school. The white bearded crossing guard, looking more like an old biker than Santa Claus, steps into the crosswalk, sign brandished, bidding me to stop. I look upon the kids, "my kids". Some stand alone, others run around with or without a soccer ball. The 6th graders, in groups of either boys showing-off or girls posing flirtatiously, eye each other.
It's the first day of school and I tear-up a little, as I do every year. I love these kids. They touch my heart in an inexplicable way.
I have a new job and title. I am now...wait for the herald trumpets... Literacy Facilitator. (Please read that with a British accent.)
I have my own office, a small room with no windows that is hotter than blazes. My tiny fan runs constantly, stirring the hot air like a convection oven. I joke that if I left a small roast there over night, it would slow cook to perfection for my lunch!
So far, as Literacy Facilitator, I have facilitated test after test and we are still testing. There are the D.I., the C.B.M's, the G.R.L's, the SRI's and finally the Iowas. Education loves an acronym: DOL, PE, TAT, ESL, ELL, YPP, and so forth.

Unfortunately, as we conduct these tests, it can get pretty disheartening. I try to keep a "glass half-full attitude". Most of our students are at least 2 years behind, many far below that. Many are EnglishLanguageLearners, 98% are Free Lunch, and some are recent immigrants from Burma, Africa and "south of the border". These circumstances present the "elephant we must eat, one spoonful at a time".
Our Kindergarten teachers are miracle workers. Our little children come in with none of the skills that most middle-classed Kindergarteners enter school with. Honest to goodness, out of 16 children in one class, all but one scored less than 5 on Letter Recognition and that was the norm. Worse than the lack of knowledge, is the attitude a few of the kids have already developed.
I ask in a gently, upbeat manner, "Tell me the name of this letter"
"Phh! I don' know!" came the flippant reply with a slight, beligerent shrug.
How do you get that attitude as a 5 year old?
But then there were others whose knowledge, of even a few letters or sounds, was delivered with a smile, large brown eyes shining with pride.
I don't mean to discount our other teachers when I praise Kindergarten! They all work tirelessly and conscientiously in an old, hot, crumbling building. They spend many hours off the clock and their efforts pay off.
We finally made AYP, another acronym for Adequate Yearly Progress. In fact, our school gained 13% on the CRT's. While this percentage doesn't sound like much, to those unfamiliar with No Child Left Behind or NCLB, it is a considerable achievement. The announcement of our no longer being "a failing school" was met with tearful whoops of joy! The bad news is, we will now lose some funding for the very programs that helped us make the grade.

So as the new school year begins, with the glass half-full and keeping our chins up , we will keep plugging along. We can only go up from here!

A Labor(day) of Love

2009-09-06T23:33:00.026-06:00

Twenty-seven years ago I had the best Labor Day weekend ever! I birthed my lovely daughter Shannon. My friend, my cheerleader, my baby girl, Shannon is a delight.

So, every year to celebrate her birthday and say goodbye to Summer, we have a big party. Shan's MIL Patsy, the girls and Nate came without Fred, who was Elk Hunting. My sister's family, whom I am ashamed to admit I have hardly seen this Summer, was here along with all the accompanying kids, spouses and footballs.

Our cats, Beansie and Yitto enjoyed mingling with the guests

Sitting in the fading summer light, watching the boys play football, we laughed and caught up with each other. The BYU win over Oklahoma and Don's celebratory light display was a hot topic!

My sister's famous pretzel/creamcheese/strawberry salad, Patsy's yummy Chinese coleslaw and my own potato salad and homemade salsa made for the perfect accompaniments to grilled burgers.

After eating ourselves silly, we still found room for birthday cake. Sevnteen voices strong, the birthday song was really a rousing chorus!

Happy Birthday Shan and farewell sweet Summer!

I may be wrong...

2009-09-06T10:30:00.001-06:00

I don't pretend to know all the answers. I don't want to argue. I'm simply stating how I feel and I may be wrong. Everyone else in my family seems to feel comfortable stating how they feel about it. A day doesn't pass without 2 or 3 "anti government health care" emails arriving in my mailbox.So , here goes...
I would guess that most of the above folks are over 65. I may be wrong. Most of these folks, who make up approximately 12% of the U.S. population, have been depending on and receiving the benefits of a Government Health Care Plan, in the form of Medicare, for quite a few years. And while all town-hall protesters are not Senior Citizens, a good deal are.
I pay a Medicare tax from each of my paychecks to support their care and I am glad to do it, just as I would be glad to pay more taxes to ensure ALL American citizens have adequate health care, not just old folks, congressmen, members of the Armed Services, Government Workers and Veterans.

I would guess these people are all insured,but I may be wrong.
We are insured through my employer. My husband's various employers, for the last 23 years, have not offered affordable health insurance, citing
"we pay you enough to buy your own." Besides my premium of 500 dollars, my employer is, reportedly, paying over 1100 dollars per month to insure my family of 3.
If I were to lose my job, we would be uninsurable because of our weight and the one prescription each, my husband and I use. Even with no preexisting conditions or chronic health problems, once you hit 50, it is very difficult to be insured without being part of a group plan. The insurers simply keep raising your rate until you can't afford to stay with them.

When you are securely insured, either through a government program such as Medicare or as part of a good group plan,
When your employer has not yet fired you and then re-hired you as a contract laborer or cut your hours to 38 per week so they don't have to pay you benefits,
When you do not have a preexisting condition that makes you uninsurable,
When your insurer will pay for your screening colonoscopy, marital counseling, the dermatologist for your teen's acne and your yearly physicals,
Then, it is easy to protest a Government Health Care Plan.
So, I've said my piece.
I know some of you are shaking your heads sadly while lamenting, "She's gone over to the other side"
some of your are shaking your heads while exclaiming "what a dumb-ass"!
and some of you are ready for battle.
I just needed to express my opinion and

I may be wrong.

Michelle Duggar has had a makeover!

2009-09-01T19:02:00.016-06:00

SNARKINESS WARNING!!

Announcing Baby 17-------------------------------Announcing Baby 19

I do believe Mama Duggar got a makeover.
Her old 80's "girl-mullet" has been updated to a 90's gelled, wet curls look. Gone are the big bangs, now swept to the side and the hair around her face is, oh my!...only shoulder length!
Her teeth have been bleached or she's had veneers and , I dare say, she's wearing bronzer!
I guess after all her gussy-ing up it's no wonder she's pregnant with Duggar #19. How could he resist?
"We just couldn't believe this was happening!" Michelle said.
What's so hard to believe? You had unprotected sex, you're only 42. She could easily have at least 2 more kids. In fact, wouldn't it make sense?
Think of the money that would come with the headline "Number 20 for the Duggars!!"

California Fires

2009-08-30T09:45:00.017-06:00

It breaks my heart to see these horrific images.

Many of you have seen it only as the far off background of the Rose Parade on the morning of a New Year, the area known as LaCanada-Flintridge, Altadena and the surounding areas. White capped San Gabriel Mountains, the Angeles National Forest stand sentinel against a pure blue Winter sky, with the green foothills of oak, sycamore and cedar lying at their feet.It is especially lovely that time of year, causing emigres to question why they ever moved.

The Northern San Gabriel Valley is home to Descanso Gardens, The Jet Propulsion Lab/ Cal.Tech, Mt.Wilson Observatory and many lovely upscale neighborhoods. It is, in my opinion, some of Southern California at its best.

I regret that I haven't visited in so long. I have so many memories...
The mountain view would greet me every morning, as I drove up San Gabriel Blvd. in my little Dodge dart on my way to P.C.C. and my first year of Junior College. In my high school years, Chantry Flats was the destination many a late night when, at a SPOOKS slumber party, we would decide to go looking for adolescent thrills. Switzer Falls was a fun hike to take with the kids from my church.
So far, only three homes have burned and countless acres. I hope there are no more.

Looking for new music?

2009-08-27T21:58:00.004-06:00

You know my eclectic tastes, especially in music.
When my old friend, Bridgette Life in Red Shoes was my brand-new friend, she did not appreciate my fondness for rap. So I am careful to listen to something else when we are in the car.
My husband does not appreciate my opera, so again, it is not played while we are in the car. It is only played when I can turn it way up and lip-synch and get teary eyed.
So in the spirit of diversity, I offer you some of my new favorites.
I am only going to give you links, as so many do not imbed.
Enjoy...or not as your taste dictates.
*La,La,La by LMFAO. Oh I love these boyz, haha, this one has such a funny 80's vibe!
*2 Weeks by Grizzly Bear AMAZING video! 2weeks
*Julia, Julie Soundtrack Alexandre Desplat has other amazing soundtracks such as Benjamin Button